(Originally posted Saturday, November 17, 2007)
Relatively simple questions a child would ask, Nov. 17
“How does Amy Winehouse have the time to record those big orchestral numbers if she’s always overdosing on drugs and going to rehab?”
“Why did Henry David Thoreau or Christopher McCandless bother going off to the woods to live alone if their plans were to write about it and draw all this attention to themselves? Doesn’t that kind of defeat the point?”
“Why does Noam Chomsky live in America if he thinks it’s so evil that everybody should bomb it?”
“Why does Michael Moore say he hates corporations because GM left his home town? Doesn’t that really mean he loves big corporations only when they stay in his home town? Isn’t that like saying ‘This food is lousy … and such small portions’?”
“Why was Judas such a bad guy if Jesus asked him to betray him?”
“Why was Jesus such a great guy for dying if he already knew he was the son of God and going to heaven anyway?”
“If consciousness is a function of time, then how could an eternity in heaven possibly be a good thing? What would we spend our time doing?”
“Wouldn’t having super powers get dull after a while?”
“Why aren’t the simple abilities to whistle or give birth or build airplanes considered superpowers? Aren’t we dreaming too big?”
“Who would want to really ever get to the top levels of our favorite video games? Don’t we know that there’s nothing on the other side of that objective but nothingness?”
“Who really wants to win the Orange Bowl? Don’t we know that there’s nothing on the other side of that objective but nothingness?”
“Why are pieces of artwork given no value until they are suddenly given way too much value?”
“Why does entertainment want to be expensive while enlightenment wants to be free?”
“Who designed Janet Jackson’s brassiere cup at the Super Bowl with easily detachable perforations? Didn’t he know what might happen?”
“If we did not want America to become a Spanish-speaking country, why did we annex a great part of Mexico a century and a half ago?”
“Why don’t we trust an adenoidal pencil-neck geek who knows everything to be president of the U.S. when that’s just the kind of person we trust to operate on our internal organs, handle our legal affairs and fix our computers?”
“Why do the French ask questions that nobody can answer?”
“Why do Americans answer questions that nobody can answer?”
“Why are November and December the only time you can see good movies in America?”
“Which one should I see?”
“How could a person go on living if he no longer believed in the goodness of his country?”
“On the other hand, how could he not? It’s simple enough to just live your life and not get upset about things that are kind of stupid, isn’t it?”
Beauty is Imperfection 