(Originally posted Saturday, November 10, 2007)
The hot new fascination on reality TV is for “cougars,” older females such as Demi Moore chasing younger males such as TV star Ashton Kutcher.
What are some of the other new slang terms out there for people in oddly matched relationships?
Meerkats: Young gay men who want to be with older men who look and talk like wisecracking stage entertainer Buddy Hackett.
Titmice: Young 17-year-old boys who want to have sex with 15-and-a-half-year-old females in their remedial high school classes but can’t because of state statutory rape laws.
Leopards: Older women who pounce on younger males by being agile climbers, though they can’t come down from a tree head first
Thrushes: twentysomething girls who, despite their beauty and talent, will take any bottom feeder they can scrape up
Platypus: A fortysomething man who somehow gets all the women even though he’s gawky and tells stupid jokes and dances like a farting duck
Panthers: Older “Hip Moms” who pick up their boyfriends by slyly blending in with their 18-year-old daughters.
Pullet: A young female who has already started laying eggs but has not yet moulted. Like Britney Spears.
Hermit crab: a rock star without a home who occasionally lives with his model girlfriend, also without a home
Narwhal: a fat bloated man about town who’s always getting his long tusk in your shit
Buzzard: A man whose whole romantic life is based around waiting for his hot female friend’s relationship to end so he can move in for the kill
Okapi: a woman whose whole identity is wrapped up in the men she dates, and whose every utterance and thought comes out of the mouth of some jerk she’s fucking.
Beauty is Imperfection 
Leave a Reply