Antonin Scalia’s Not Very Gay Day
By Dr. Seuss
Oh I do not like that jiggery pokery
Or your startling wuz-wuz
Or your Kalamazoo
I do not like your decisions mystical
They are quite egotistical
To say who can love a what
Or a what can love a who
Just ask any hippie
Who is dippy or quippy
If he really believes all of your hippity flippity
That when jiggery pokery is on the menu
By the fish and fowl and hens too
That words will have no meaning
And all the talkers’ talk is puffed to o’erweening
I do not accept words that say more than they say
Is this is or is this not a sunny day?
Or is this is or is this not a rainy day?
Or was this both a rainy or a sunny day?
(Oh how confusing
When we wish to make hay!)
Oh I am so confused by that jiggery pokery
And by all the other justices’ hokery smokery
If marriages were meant to be happy
Then not all the wishity fishities would
Call them quite crappy
The law is the law and it says what it says
And only what is said is allowed in my head
Because Oh How I hate all that jiggery pokery
I will not eat it with a smolting smolt smokery
The law is not concerned with intimate affairs
Any more than my fanny is beloved by my chair
I will not be gay because I’m not obliged to
I’d rather protect rights of the guns, clubs and knives, too
Beauty is Imperfection 