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Archive for July, 2015

–*Lack of mental health care in the United States

–*Confederate flags

–*Marilyn Manson

–*Short skirts

–*Violent videos

–*The Dukes of Hazzard

–*Violent movies

–*Immigrants

–*Young black males

–*Twinkies

–*Barack Obama

–*Low carb diets

–*High fail quotas in our engineering schools

–*Godlessness

–*Unless it’s the god of Islam, in which case we are blaming that God

–*Atheists removing the Ten Commandments from state property

–*The lack of a Second Amendment in the Ten Commandments (after a fact check to make sure there is not a Second Amendment in the Ten Commandments).

–*Them

–*The others

–*The victims

–*Everybody but myself

–*Myself

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Ten theories of quantum physics first introduced on Seinfeld.

You must look at this model!

Are you celebrating heritage or committing mass murder right now? These three college students answered wrong!

Four types of herring you should never talk to on a subway.

Ten ugly children who grew up to be ugly adults.

Why this millennial is not answering your phone call.

Matt Damon is totally rocking this prehensile tail.

You will own this hedgehog

Ten old stars who used to be young.

This schizophrenic millionaire says the earth has already been destroyed.

He knocked down a wall in his basement. You won’t be surprised where the excavators found him.

Ten gay celebrities that came from heterosexual parents.

Why you have to get a reverse mortgage right now (we’ve kidnapped your child).

Ten pictures of celebrities pleading for their lives.

This credit card opens doors for you. I just unlocked somebody’s door with mine.

Cover your ears! Mandrake!

Ten people didn’t know they were bleeding from the eyes, ears, mouth and ass.

Ten poisonous spiders that laid eggs in your ear last night.

The best all time house fires.

This massive sperm fail left a female lawyer’s egg unfructified.

Which of these Nobel Prize winners became shattered post-Nobel Prize award winners?

You’ll never guess what a poorly grounded microphone did to this billionaire.

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