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Archive for the ‘The Internet’ Category

–*Woman who was kidnapped at age 5 now has her own hostage.

–*You’ll never believe where we bought these chives.

–*You’ll never believe who just recently died. And this attached photo of George Clooney means, really, you shouldn’t believe people like us when we tell you who recently died.

–*You’ll never believe it, but this carrot carved up to look like Donald Trump was once just a regular carrot.

–*These five women used to be so much older then, but they are younger than that now.

–*You should take this man’s investment advice because there is no way he was convicted of wire fraud in 2003.

–*You won’t believe who committed wire fraud, and this attached photo of George Clooney proves that you shouldn’t believe us when we tell you who committed wire fraud.

–*The shocking story behind the banality of evil.

–*Come here. There’s candy in my car.

–*Why you don’t see Shelley Winters in movies anymore.

–*Five women who surprisingly decided to be sexually harassed.

–*Being chased around the room by a naked screaming baby is pretty funny unless the baby is 6 feet tall and runs Miramax.

–*This prisoner bet he could eat 50 eggs.

–*This prisoner told his cellmate, “Nobody can eat 50 eggs!”

–*This prisoner added he could eat 50 eggs in an hour.

–*Twelve cadavers who surprisingly bared all.

–*Idiot Breitbart reader was also an idiot child.

–*Which of these former ‘Survivor’ contestants have gone feral?

–*Ten reasons Squeaky Fromme is not as lovable as she seems.

–*The 10 people at this party whom your use of irony was lost upon.

–*People who got mad and clicked this when we said the Eagles weren’t any good.

–*People who got mad and clicked this when we said Joanna Newsom wasn’t any good.

–*There’s a monster at the end of this book!

–*12 Hollywood sex scandals that ended in everyone dying and being forgotten after 80 years.

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Ten theories of quantum physics first introduced on Seinfeld.

You must look at this model!

Are you celebrating heritage or committing mass murder right now? These three college students answered wrong!

Four types of herring you should never talk to on a subway.

Ten ugly children who grew up to be ugly adults.

Why this millennial is not answering your phone call.

Matt Damon is totally rocking this prehensile tail.

You will own this hedgehog

Ten old stars who used to be young.

This schizophrenic millionaire says the earth has already been destroyed.

He knocked down a wall in his basement. You won’t be surprised where the excavators found him.

Ten gay celebrities that came from heterosexual parents.

Why you have to get a reverse mortgage right now (we’ve kidnapped your child).

Ten pictures of celebrities pleading for their lives.

This credit card opens doors for you. I just unlocked somebody’s door with mine.

Cover your ears! Mandrake!

Ten people didn’t know they were bleeding from the eyes, ears, mouth and ass.

Ten poisonous spiders that laid eggs in your ear last night.

The best all time house fires.

This massive sperm fail left a female lawyer’s egg unfructified.

Which of these Nobel Prize winners became shattered post-Nobel Prize award winners?

You’ll never guess what a poorly grounded microphone did to this billionaire.

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