Beauty is Imperfection

–*Woman who was kidnapped at age 5 now has her own hostage.

–*You’ll never believe where we bought these chives.

–*You’ll never believe who just recently died. And this attached photo of George Clooney means, really, you shouldn’t believe people like us when we tell you who recently died.

–*You’ll never believe it, but this carrot carved up to look like Donald Trump was once just a regular carrot.

–*These five women used to be so much older then, but they are younger than that now.

–*You should take this man’s investment advice because there is no way he was convicted of wire fraud in 2003.

–*You won’t believe who committed wire fraud, and this attached photo of George Clooney proves that you shouldn’t believe us when we tell you who committed wire fraud.

–*The shocking story behind the banality of evil.

–*Come here. There’s candy in my car.

–*Why you don’t see Shelley Winters in movies anymore.

–*Five women who surprisingly decided to be sexually harassed.

–*Being chased around the room by a naked screaming baby is pretty funny unless the baby is 6 feet tall and runs Miramax.

–*This prisoner bet he could eat 50 eggs.

–*This prisoner told his cellmate, “Nobody can eat 50 eggs!”

–*This prisoner added he could eat 50 eggs in an hour.

–*Twelve cadavers who surprisingly bared all.

–*Idiot Breitbart reader was also an idiot child.

–*Which of these former ‘Survivor’ contestants have gone feral?

–*Ten reasons Squeaky Fromme is not as lovable as she seems.

–*The 10 people at this party whom your use of irony was lost upon.

–*People who got mad and clicked this when we said the Eagles weren’t any good.

–*People who got mad and clicked this when we said Joanna Newsom wasn’t any good.

–*There’s a monster at the end of this book!

–*12 Hollywood sex scandals that ended in everyone dying and being forgotten after 80 years.