Beauty is Imperfection

• She was a massive star. Then she vanished when we stopped paying attention to her.

• These clouds are certainly taking their time to piss rain, says self appointed park weatherman.

• This woman was tired of waiting on the Holy Spirit and is now just abusing the maintenance staff.

• Scott Baio seeking new state to be unemployed actor in.

• We just diarrheaed ourselves over Sydney Sweeney’s glam body hugger Miu Miu dress.

• This Ukrainian drone was the worst gender reveal party ever.

• Scientists now agree: weed makes you mellower, stinkier.

• Why Hollywood won’t cast Jack Lemmon anymore.

• ChatGPT called Prince Harry’s ghostwriter a slow punk ass bitch.

• This sexy banker was a “10,” but his above-junk mismatches and overexposure to longer duration made him a “3” when everything tightened.

• This kid swallowed a bitcoin and shat nothing.

• These woke teens slept late and missed the first half of the movie. “Sonny Corleone was killed for nothing.”

• “This show won’t be on Netflix soon because nobody has cast, produced or funded it,” says angry screenwriter.

• Gee, this interview with a 90-year-old veteran turned racist pretty fast.

• Florida vows to sell its sinkholes only to American citizens.

• Teen describes mom’s attempt to reach out to him: “Do you believe that cold-blooded bitch?”

• Senator describes Kyrsten Sinema’s attempts to ask him about his weekend: “Do you believe that cold-blooded bitch?”

• Jennifer Aniston went grocery shopping, and Twitter users were not impressed. “Tone deaf AF.”

• When this lawyer said she only dates lumberjacks, who’d have known she wasn’t fucking around?

• Uh-oh! That’s a lot of dairy, right there.

• You can’t deny that this woman sitting on a bus reading a Carl Hiaasen book is iconic.

• You won’t believe what happened to this sexy bombshell’s clothes unless you book Iceland tickets now.

• You’ll never guess what most people believed last Friday.

• These fast-breeding Gen Z slang words are clutch snipperz.

• Mob justice: if it were ice cream, why the kids would be eating it every day.

• This see-through dress worn by Elizabeth Olsen had fans remembering that it’s important to spay and neuter their cats.

• This guy insisted that he saw Captain Kirk over there, but his friend wasn’t having it.

• Lady Macbeth shouted at the damn spot but Twitter wasn’t having it. “OK, Boomer. Put ice on it.”

• The fact of inevitable death sucks, but reminding other people they’re going to die makes it a little easier.

• Is Twitter OK with us announcing this bake sale Friday?

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