Posts Tagged ‘YouTube’

Country star Mindy McCready died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound on February 17. What are we learning from Internet trolls about her life and music?

–*She was an angel.

–*No she wasn’t, she was a bad mom.

–*Yeah, she abandoned her kids.

–*No she didn’t, she tried to get them back.

–*Yeah, by kidnapping them. Drug addict!

–*Yeah, and her music blows.

–*This was a senseless tragedy.

–*If by “senseless” you mean everybody saw it coming a mile away.

–*You guys don’t know her pain. I know she kidnapped her son, did drugs, forged prescriptions for OxyContin, drove drunk, overdosed while pregnant, jumped bail, neglected her children and murdered a dog. But are those things worthy of judgment?

–*Rest in peace, Mindy.

–*Rot in hell, Mindy!

–*I don’t believe the hate I see on the Internet.

–*I don’t believe the hate I see on the Internet and I am only three years old.

–*Dean Cain is hot!

–*The church is very strict about suicide and she will not be saved. Love, Pope Benedict (ret)

–*The Second Amendment is the law and nobody can change that. Just try.

–*Look, Mindy never did anything to me personally, so I guess I’ll give her a pass.

–*I wish I could just hug those two children close to me, feel their little hearts beating against mine, fondle their hair, whisper to them, “It’s OK. It’s OK” while I explain to them that their mother was a drug-addled screw up.

–*Why does Roger Clemens get to be involved in EVERY scandal?

–*I don’t know. I trust Dr. Drew implicitly and I still think he can save her.

–*I do not trust the liberal media! Mindy is alive!

–*Whore whore whore!

–*You are an evil pig for saying that.

–*He’s just trying to get a rise out of you and her fans.

–*Don’t tell me who I can call evil.

–*Fuck you!

–*No, fuck you!

–*My sister looks like Mindy McCready.

–*Good, maybe your sister will kill herself.

–*You’ve got to be pretty messed up to make Tom Sizemore look good.

–*When I think of those poor children, it just gets me thinking about my own life and my OxyContin additions and the outstanding warrant I have and my constant fear that the police are going to break down my door any minute. And I just think of those poor, poor children.

–*When I got in an argument with my boyfriend about going out with the girls, I put on “Guys Do It All The Time” by Mindy to rub it in his face. And when we broke up and got back together, I had to play him “Ten Thousand Angels” to let him know I wouldn’t fall for it all again. And when we did get back together and broke up again I played “You’ll Never Know.”

–*Is there any question about why he left you?

–*I don’t know, I’m pretty smart about these things. I think this had something to do with the 9/11 conspiracy.

–*An ecclesiastical question: Is that dog going to hell?

–*I never met Mindy, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and blame myself for her death.

–*Death diminishes all of us. Even Mindy McCready’s death. I think.

–*Her Web site headline is “I’m Still Here.” Will somebody please do something about that?

–*Satin Satin Satin!

–*The spelling is “Satan” you dipshit.

–*Mindy, you were let down by so many people. Your mother, your father, BNA Records, the father of your first baby, the judges, Roger Clemens, the parole board, Dr. Drew, Vivid Entertainment, the father of your second baby, the Arizona police, the Tennessee police, Capitol Records, Dean Cain, Drake Berehowsky, The View, the makers of Darvocet. … So many people let you down.

–*You all need help! There is so much hate here.

–*I hate you.

–*I hope you rot in hell and Satan himself gives you a punji stick infection and drinks blood from your skull you impotent wuss. And I hope he pokes your eyes out and eats them like marshmallows that he roasts over licking hell flames before putting them down his gullet and then I hope you can still see with them as he shits them out into fire shit … We love you Mindy!

–*I hope for Mindy’s sake, comments are going to be disabled soon.

–*Comments disabled.

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–*Naked wine show

–*Naked C-SPAN

–*Naked minutes of the CIA Nancy Pelosi waterboarding briefing by the Bush administration

–*Naked waterboarding

–*Naked minutes of the Chrysler reorganization plan, featuring naked back room arm-twisting of the car company’s subordinated debt holders by the Obama administration, especially if those naked lenders think they don’t have to play ball with the administration and have this naked re-org shoved down their naked throats

–*Naked stockholders up shit creek

–*Naked Supreme Court selection hearings

–*I’m Fucking Matt Damon

–*Bill O’Reilly’s “Fuck It, We’ll Do It Live”

–*Some cute chick in a bikini on YouTube talking about how we should all live in tents

–*Naked monkey smelling feces, fainting

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(Originally posted February 13, 2008 )

Bill O’Reilly has a lot of anger. That’s because he likely hasn’t seen this:

Kitten Loves Puppy "happy valenetines day"

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(Originally posted Sunday, December 02, 2007)

Walker, Texas Panderer

Law & Order: Professional Athletes Detail

A Chick Show With Even More Extensive String Plucking To Let You Know It’s a Satire, Lest You Think The Hip Producers Are Somehow Not Above Entertaining You

6 CW
America’s Next Top Zionist

7 Telemundo
El Hombre Es Embarazada! Ay!

8 Biography
Taking a cue from Immanuel Kant, viewers make a strike against pure reason by watching psychic shows

9 Cartoon Network
Adult Swim: Bodily Fluids In Anthropomorphic Form

10 ESPN-Classic
“The Cannonball Run II,” like a whore looking for a place to sleep, somehow winds up on ESPN Classic

11 Fox News
Der Hannity Kinder

12 CMT
Where To Get The Hog Feed To Make Your Mash Liquor Without Drawring Attention From the POE-lice

18 History Channel
Just Enough History About the Hippies To Allow You To Dismiss Them All Over Again

19 CNN
Could you say that again? Larry wasn’t listening.

20 FX, 21 Sci-Fi and 22 A&E
We promise to just get grosser and more violent and more profane until you pay attention to us.

21 MTV
Whose Sick Did I Wake Up In?

22 VH-1
Does Carly Simon have to sleep with Flavor Flav to get back on this channel?

24 HBO
A Documentary About Atlantic City Hookers Narrated Entirely In Iambic Pentameter

26 E! Entertainment
Every Girl Is Attractive When She’s Naked (Reality)

28 Bravo
Fear My Brazen Sauce

29 Hallmark
Charles Durning served his country on the beaches of Normandy. Here he stars as Santa in a horrible Christmas show thought up in the marketing department by a 29-year-old yuppie scumbag.

30 Lifetime
Movie: A driven, single-minded career woman who lives only for her work … oh, Jesus, need I continue?

31 Cinemax
The Vagina Syndrome

31 Cinemax
Lonesome Rim

31 Cinemax
Things To Do With Heather In Your Bed

32 BET
Kicked In The Butt By Love

Kicked In The Butt By an Adjustable-Rate Mortgage

34 Court TV
Your Unabashed Hatred Only Diminishes You, Dear Viewer, But Having Said That, Here Are Some Dirty Filthy, Lowlife, Murdering, Child-Molesting Scumbags You Can Hate

35 Democracy Now
Smug Liberal Curls Lip

–*Bickering Republican Front Runners Make Mike Huckabee Look Not Blood-Curdlingly Stupid For Brief Moment
–*Small Kitten Vomiting and Still Looking Extra Cute
–*Suicide Girl Continuing To Get Positive Feedback For Working Through Her Body Issues the Wrong Way

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(Originally posted Friday, November 09, 2007)

Medium Smackdown: You don’t see dead people, asshole, I do.

Forensic Shows With A Preponderent Number of Their Themes Increasingly Directed at Cannibalism and Incest To Drive Up the “Wow” Factor

“Bionic Woman”: Jaime Unfortunately Finds Out Once Again That Her Sexual Embrace Is a Death Grip

Woman Doctors Making Dick Jokes (Featuring A Soundtrack of Coyly Plucked Strings)

7 Fox
An Aggressive Reality Cooking Show With a Host You’d Like To Murder, Followed By A Fictional Show In Which Somebody Murders the Host of an Aggressive TV Reality Cooking Show

8 CW
Gossip Girl Ups The Ante By Calling Lindsey “A Cunt Who’s Going to Get What’s Coming To Her.”

9 Lifetime
We Have Found That Paranormal Psychic Crap Skews Very Clearly Toward Women In their late 30s, 40s and 50s

9 Lifetime
Couples Not Having Sex And Whining About It

10 Telemundo
Las Parejas Que Tienen Poco Sexo y … Blah Blah Blah

13 PBS
Documentary historian Ken Burns takes us back to the last war we can all agree on.

14 ABC Family
America’s Funniest Home Videos, Extra Sadistic Edition

15 Animal Planet
Awwwwww….Swimming Lions … Awwwwwww

16 CNN
Larry King Throws Another Sop To Idiots With A Story on UFOs

The Big Idea With Donny Deutsch

18 Fox News
Much Smaller, More Easily Digestible Ideas with Neil Cavuto

19 BET
Movie: A Crude Farce Revolving Around the Antics of Sex-Obsessed Friends. (That’s Not Me Being Funny, That’s Really From the TV Guide Description, I Swear to Christ)

19 BET
Something, something. Something, something? Something, something!

20 Headline News
A Nightly News Show That Focuses On Topical Issues, But Better For Us If There’s a Hot-Looking Teen Involved

21 MTV
Martha Quinn Is Freed From an Underground Torture Room and Real Music Videos Are Played Everywhere For All To Hear and Enjoy

22 E! Entertainment Television
Something New To Liberate Your Penis For

26 Crosswalk
Democracy Now: Communists Have Seized the Country, But You Don’t Even Know Because You Don’t Read the Paper or Watch This Channel

27 Crosswalk
The Robin Byrd Show: Waiting to Expel

28 Discovery Health
Birth Is Just Gross

29 HBO
Miami Vice

30 Cinemax
The Co-Eds Are Not Studying

31 Sundance Channel
Eco Friendly Places To Store Your Bodily Waste

32 The Independent Film Channel
Henry Rollins trying to make a point dressed as a meter maid, though I’m not sure I get what it is.

32 The Independent Film Channel
Indie Sex. There, we said it. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex….

33 VH-1
P Diddy Sells a New Fragrance That Smells Like Somebody Made P Diddy

–*A shark eating my dog
–*Why Stalin was a cool guy
–*A slide show of a woman dancing around in her bra to a Jay-Z song
–*A double-jointed guy showin’ us how he rolls
–*The new “Retributioners” trailer. Cha-ching! Made you look!

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