(Originally posted Monday, July 28, 2008 )
What vacations do you have planned this year now that high gas prices have made long-distance travel more difficult?
–*Spelunking in the Ozarks across the border.
–*Skeet-shooting in Osh-Kosh.
–*Moonin’ the relatives in Bellville
–*Cow tipping in Dubuque
–*Indian bingo right up the road
–*Wine tasting in the vineyards of Oklahoma
–*Standing at the Perth Amboy waterfront and waving furiously at the Carnival Cruise Line taking people to New Brunswick
–*Miniature golfing in Boise
–*Stealing copper and lead out of manholes in Memphis
–*Hand-gliding off the top of the post office in Topeka
–*Misting myself with a water bottle in Bedford Stuyvesant in Brooklyn
–*Having sex in a bed in the next room
Beauty is Imperfection 
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