Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Tuesday, July 08, 2008 )

A lot of attention has recently been paid to John McCain’s campaign staff, which comprises long-time loyalists, Karl Rove-linked political strategists and friends, all of whom have been thrown together in a giddy cauldron to jockey for position and favor. What are people on the street saying about McCain’s motley crew of political expertise?

–*”It seems like half a dozen well-paid advisors might be able to make him say the thing that would get him elected: “We’re leaving Iraq.”

–Molly Bloomquist, Rosedale, Ill.

–*”He seems to be saying yes to the supply-side economic faction in his base as well as saying yes to the budget hawks in his base. An old guy saying yes to everybody all the time sounds a lot like my decrepit Uncle Ernie, and I don’t know if we should be leaving something so important as the U.S. economy to someone who has admitted he doesn’t understand it. Oh yeah, and why is he paying all these advisors?”

–Shannon LaFarge, Duquesne, Pa.

–*”I really liked the no-nonsense, independent-minded maverick tough guy John McCain. But that person is obviously dead. I mean, when you’ve got all those different kinds of people running around his campaign screaming bizarre, contradictory things, they start to to look a little bit like EMTs.”

–Jason Recruisner, Lockhart, Texas

–*”I am happy that John McCain has said he’s concerned about the environment. I’m concerned, too. So why don’t you elect me president. What the hell is he paying these people for?”

–Aaron Wishner, Butte, Montana

–*”John McCain’s stunning success in the crowded primary field showed a certain kind of tactical brilliance. But then to get this far and show that he has absolutely no kind of strategy to face the new John F. Kennedy of our age, I’m starting to think the primary was all blind shit house luck.”

–Rosa McHendricks, Winterbane, Utah

–*”A candidate has to create excitement to win an election. And McCain is kind of doing that. I mean, everbody’s excited that he’s always demoting members of his campaign staff. I guess that’s kind of the same thing.”

–Johnny Flowerton, Portland, Maine

–*”Shaking up his staff twice in one year? Doesn’t that usually mean you’re a bazillion points behind?”

–Monika Fogel, Braddocks, Florida.

–*”Everybody’s telling McCain to be a better orator, be more electric and all that, because he’s dealing with a man of almost Pentecostal enthusiasm. What they ought to be telling him, though, is stop figuring out how to win over conservatives, which is like fighting over the short end of the stick this year. Hello, America is voting against them!”

–Geddy Rhimes, Pawtucket, Mass.