(Originally posted Tuesday, March 18, 2008 )
What Things Are We Doing to Prop Up The Ailing Economy?
–*Cutting interest rates to almost nothing so that the dollar will become extra, extra worthless
–*Bailing out large investment banks because of the way such banks have suffered in their selfless, saint-like, silent despair with their bleeding, pitiful hedge funds dying in their arms
–*Giving all Americans a free plasma TV and in return telling them not to ask any questions
–*Giving a boost to the Canadian dollar and then asking Americans to move to Canada
–*Announcing with great fanfare that “America’s On Sale” in countries like China, Russia and Saudi Arabia
–*Creating great economic stimulus packages and encouraging more of the same self-destructive activity that got us here in the first place
–*Hastening America’s development into a rural, agrarian republic of cottage industries producing cheese and candles, just like Thomas Jefferson wanted
–*Exporting all of our sheep’s wool and lanolin to the low countries
–*Annexing Iraq and stealing its oceans of oil, which, while immoral, isn’t much more immoral than what we’ve already done to the place
–*Putting wealth-generating former jailbait star Britney Spears at the head of the Federal Reserve and getting rid of Ben “Cry Me A River Of Cheap Money” Bernanke
–*Hoarding all the Star Wars dolls
–*Monetizing Nintendo Wiis
–*Building a railroad to the moon that will employ all of humanity
Beauty is Imperfection 
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