Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Tuesday, February 05, 2008 )

–*”I can’t believe you canceled out my vote, honey!”

–*”It’s time to answer for Santino, Hillary. I’m sorry … what I meant to say is that it’s time to answer for Iraq, Hillary.”

–*”Mitt is really an independent thinker. He’d have to be for a heretic.”

–*”McCain has really reached out to conservatives, and by that I mean he has lied through his teeth to them.”

–*”If conservatives have nobody to vote for, it might be because Americans are voting against conservatives this year. Did you ever think of that, weisenheimers?”

–*”I don’t know. There’s just nobody here as good as Bush.”

–*”Barack is the vote of change. … If you can say things like that out loud without laughing.”

–*”I want to vote for the candidate who’s going to make everything different. … Actually, no scratch that. Everything different might be pretty awful.”

–*”I voted for Kucinich. I’m just self-destructive that way.”

–*”It doesn’t matter what I do, nobody’s going to fix New Orleans.”

–*”It doesn’t matter what I do, nobody’s leaving Iraq.”

–*”It doesn’t matter what I do, nobody’s turning Bush over to the International Criminal Court.”

–*”It’s too late to save the planet. We might as well elect Charles Manson.”

–*”Oh, that’s right. We already did elect Charles Manson.”

–*”No, really. Did you cancel out my vote, honey? No sex for you tonight, asshole!”

–*”The Giants won! The Giants won! The Giants won!”