Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Tuesday, February 05, 2008 )

The exit polls shaping the coverage shaping the media pundits shaping the debate shaping the future of the unreality known as politics.

11% of Californians say that the film “The Terminator” is influencing their decision to vote for John McCain in the Super Tuesday elections.

81% of New Yorkers say education is very important to them but 100% of them are showing their dedication to it only by saying so in this poll.

19% of Huckabee supporters think Huckabee cut a deal with McCain to divide up West Virgina at the expense of Mitt Romney, but 80% of those admit that watching TV pundits has made them feel smarter about these things than they actually are.

90% of Huckabee’s supporters in Idaho knew that he would use a New York Giants metaphor to refer to his underdog campaign.

80% of Oklahoma’s two dozen liberals are behind Hillary Clinton.

90% of people in Illinois listen only to Oprah.

51% of Massachusetts Republicans are winking when Mitt Romney says he’s conservative.

32% of Illinois voters believe that Huckabee’s campaign is inspiring in the way Old Yeller’s rabid instinct to live was inspiring.

33% of California voters believe when John McCain says the word “conservative” over and over he doth protest too much.

55% of New York voters think that Bill Clinton would make a better black first lady than Michelle Obama.

56% of Illinois voters say Obama’s sex appeal will put him over with those people who want to have sex with Barack Obama.

88% of voters in Minnesota say change is important, but, in a control sample, the same group also says they love puppies. Because how could you be against change or puppies?

55% of Californians say they are fed up with politics as usual in Washington, not realizing that that attitude is what got a freakish, unqualified moron ensconced in office several years ago.