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Posts Tagged ‘Netflix’

What Clickbait Headlines Are We Reading, May 9, 2023?

Posted in Comedy, Satire, The Internet, The Web, Will Smith, Seth Rogen, Rasmussen Reports, Amazon, Chris Rock, crypto, dogsled, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2023| Leave a Comment »

  • She was a massive star. Then she vanished when we stopped paying attention to her.
  • These clouds are certainly taking their time to piss rain, says self appointed park weatherman.
  • This woman was tired of waiting on the Holy Spirit and is now just abusing the maintenance staff.
  • Scott Baio seeking new state to be unemployed actor in.
  • We just diarrheaed ourselves over Sydney Sweeney’s glam body hugger Miu Miu dress.
  • This Ukrainian drone was the worst gender reveal party ever.
  • Scientists now agree: weed makes you mellower, stinkier.
  • Why Hollywood won’t cast Jack Lemmon anymore.
  • ChatGPT called Prince Harry’s ghostwriter a slow punk ass bitch.
  • This sexy banker was a “10,” but his above-junk mismatches and overexposure to longer duration made him a “3” when everything tightened.
  • This kid swallowed a bitcoin and shat nothing.
  • These woke teens slept late and missed the first half of the movie. “Sonny Corleone was killed for nothing.”
  • “This show won’t be on Netflix soon because nobody has cast, produced or funded it,” says angry screenwriter.
  • Gee, this interview with a 90-year-old veteran turned racist pretty fast.
  • Florida vows to sell its sinkholes only to American citizens.
  • Teen describes mom’s attempt to reach out to him: “Do you believe that cold-blooded bitch?”
  • Senator describes Kyrsten Sinema’s attempts to ask him about his weekend: “Do you believe that cold-blooded bitch?”
  • Jennifer Aniston went grocery shopping, and Twitter users were not impressed. “Tone deaf AF.”
  • When this lawyer said she only dates lumberjacks, who’d have known she wasn’t fucking around?
  • Uh-oh! That’s a lot of dairy, right there.
  • You can’t deny that this woman sitting on a bus reading a Carl Hiaasen book is iconic.
  • You won’t believe what happened to this sexy bombshell’s clothes unless you book Iceland tickets now.
  • You’ll never guess what most people believed last Friday.
  • These fast-breeding Gen Z slang words are clutch snipperz.
  • Mob justice: if it were ice cream, why the kids would be eating it every day.
  • This see-through dress worn by Elizabeth Olsen had fans remembering that it’s important to spay and neuter their cats.
  • This guy insisted that he saw Captain Kirk over there, but his friend wasn’t having it.
  • Lady Macbeth shouted at the damn spot but Twitter wasn’t having it. “OK, Boomer. Put ice on it.”
  • The fact of inevitable death sucks, but reminding other people they’re going to die makes it a little easier.
  • Is Twitter OK with us announcing this bake sale Friday?

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What’s On TV Tonight, July 17

Posted in Comedy, Entertainment, Film & TV, Technology, tagged , , , , , , , on July 17, 2020| Leave a Comment »

Discovery Channel
Zoologists ask what birds would do with human arms. Answer: Just what humans do. Subjugate others.

Netflix
Watch these documentaries now before we find out their subjects committed multiple acts of sexual assault.

CNN
“Don Lemon Can’t Believe What He’s Hearing,” followed by “Anderson Cooper: Everything’s Ludicrous.”

HBO
“Entourage” now opens with a featurette by Susan Faludi that explains its historical context.

Fox News
Why Whites Wearing Surgical Masks Is Tyranny, While Stopping and Frisking Black People Is OK

Paramount Network
“Cops” opens with a featurette explaining its historical context two months ago.

MTV
“Catfish”: This love thing might be an illusion. Also, you’re dating someone online with a fake profile.

CNN Money
Love is an illusion but I’m forwarding my credit card numbers to a guy I met online anyway.

Bravo
The Manscapers of “Backyard Envy” really ought to be imagining this outdoor space as being full of quarantine tents.

Bravo
Are they really “The Real Housewives of Manhattan” if they have fled the pandemic and aren’t here to fill out their census forms for important tax and political redistricting purposes?

Bravo
The Real Housewives Remote After the After Show Show

Bravo
Cash Cab: If you stay in the cab, you can win $300 and expose someone in the service industry to a deadly pathogen.

Vh-1
Black Ink Compton Crew: If you can’t write something nice on your body, best not to write anything at all.

PBS
An old “Crossfire” featuring Mojo Nixon arguing with Pat Buchanan about dirty song lyrics makes us wistfully remember when the left wing liked freedom of speech.

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“Retributioners” On TV? Sort Of!

Posted in Film & TV, The Retributioners, tagged , , , , on December 13, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Are you a Netflix subscriber? Do you have a Roku box? If so, you can now watch “The Retributioners” on your very own TV! Our preferred Web video channel, Blip.TV, has signed deals to share their content with several sites and subscription services, including YouTube, TiVo, Vimeo and iTunes. But our personal favorite is the tiny, efficient, extra-affordable Roku box, which you can check out here. This device, of course, allows you to pluck many Netflix movies off the Internet and throw them into your TV–all for free if you have a subscription. What movies the company doesn’t have online you can likely still get through an Amazon link for just a few bucks extra.

I am not saying all this because I am some shill for Roku or just because I want you to watch “The Retributions” again (Anyone up for another round of “Drunk Dial Party”?). No, I’m also a huge fan of this little box because it has completely changed my TV viewing habits, allowed me to waste less time and money on bad television and, most important, allowed me to call my cable company and demand again that they lower my rate or else I’ll get rid of them. Because, as Pliny the Elder once asked, why do I have to take their shit?

One of my favorite Roku discoveries lately is that I can now watch any DVD from the first five years of Saturday Night Live for FREE with my Netflix account and my tiny, compact, sleek, inexpensive and elegant little Roku box. That’s EVERYTHING! Even the stuff they never show in reruns–like Milton Berle singing “September Song,” and Louise Lasser apparently walking off in the middle of her monologue because she was having a nervous breakdown. Everyone remembers that Belushi did the Samurai, but nobody remembers that he also did FDR and Truman Capote. Nobody remembers the sketch where Ralph Nader tested sex dolls. But I have seen it and I still don’t believe he did it.

So, without an endorsement money from Roku, I must recommend this box. It was a steal when I bought it at $100, and now it seems to have dropped in price again. This is the future! If we all get extra picky about what we watch, maybe the regular networks will remove the Kardashians. Come on! We’re adults. We don’t have to take this abuse!

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