Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Monday, August 11, 2008 )

What Are We Learning About the 2008 Olympics in Beijing?

–*New special wormhole technology invented in Asia allows swimmers to break records by swimming the 4×100 meter relay in less than a nanosecond.

–*Everybody swims faster when the pool, the water, the swimwear and the swimmers are invented by Boeing.

–*…and paid for by Adidas.

–*There are so many young happy Chinese people abounding in the former Peking, that you get the feeling there’s some kind of invidious “Logan’s Run” type of shenanigans going on

–*Not everything you see on television is real, whether it’s fireworks, air quality, economic prosperity in China or George Bush holding the seal of elected office

–*Performance enhancing drugs have no place in the athletic world, unless they are causing somebody to really really inspire us.

–*The Olympics are China’s announcement that it is now a major player on the world stage. Building a psychotically large dam wasn’t enough.

–*Competitiveness brings out the best in people. Unless they are married. Or raising children. Or are attending their high school reunion. Or they are part of a tight-knit group working together as a unit, such as an army platoon. Or living in a commonwealth in which duty to one’s fellow man should be of the utmost concern. OK, strike that: Competitiveness only brings out the best in athletes. And only once every four years. Otherwise it just makes you an asshole.

–*It’s wrong to round up the beggars and homeless and sweep them under the rug before the international press arrives at the Olympics. Shame on you China, for stooping to measures that would only be carried out in Atlanta, Georgia.

–*The Olympic torch bearer is a stirring symbol. Let’s get her!

–*Taiwan doesn’t exist.