Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Wednesday, January 02, 2008 )

Stephanie and I are back from a two week Christmas holiday in Oklahoma and Texas. Among other things we did:

–*Held a launch party for the Oklahoma premiere of “The Retributioners”;

–*Shopped for presents in roads covered with black ice;

–*Played with many babies, including the game “rocket ship,” in which childrens get launched from Uncle Eric’s foot up into the air;

–*Won several hands of Texas Hold-Em, until I started to lose several hands of Texas Hold-Em;

–*Got peed on by a new baby Chihuahua named Rosabelle;

–*Chased a few chickens around a friend’s backyard;

–*Fed some bunnies parsley;

–*Played drums and piano with a baby named Darlene;

–*Saw “No Country For Old Men” at Austin’s Alamo Theater, where you can watch the movie while drinking coffee and a mean milkshake;

–*Was disturbed by the movie’s message of violence and nihilism while enjoying said milkshake;

–*Drove eight hours from Austin to Oklahoma City while listening over and over to a song called “Redneck Roundup” and later another one called “Redneck Yacht Club”;

–*Discovered the magic of a friend’s Nintendo Wii;

–*Discovered that it’s hard to get a Nintendo Wii right now;

–*Enjoyed our friend Jason’s souped up XBox with vast multimedia capabilities that will destroy you;

–*Ate at Red Lobster;

–*Enjoyed multiple “artgasms” at the transplendent New Year’s Eve Flaming Lips show at the Cox Center (formerly The Myriad) in Oklahoma City, where the Lips lit onto the stage from a giant spaceship (Wayne Coyne himself rolling out inside a giant balloon) and where we all spent the evening punching giant balloons around the arena and attacking fellow audience members with our free laser pointers;

–*Enjoyed the Oklahoma City fireworks display marking 2008;

–*Crashed a truly lame black tie party at the beautifully restored Skirvin Hotel and danced for a few mere minutes to some really awful music ;

–*Visited with awesome photographer Romy Owens at a very cool Oklahoma City coffee shop (Romy’s on my friend page and you can find all of her art there);

–*Had a hearty Braum’s ice cream sundae with extra fat-making shit all over it;

–*Ate more fat making stuff in the form of a chicken friend steak, so FU Weight Watchers;

–*And finally, we said goodbye to all of the families and boarded a jet plane at 7:25 a.m. this morning and wistfully drank in the memories of a very happy holiday.

That’s a lot of god damned Christmas cheer.

I have a few crappy cell phone photos from the Flaming Lips show, but you can get a much better view of the fun on my brother-in-law’s page here.

Happy New Year to all. I hope you had as much fun as we did.

(Originally posted Tuesday, January 01, 2008 )

–*Eat more spam

–*Drink more beer

–*Be nicer to people and pierce labia

–*See more Flaming Lips shows in Oklahoma City, even if you live in remote places like Brunei or China

–*Finish that dark, misanthropic novel in which all the characters die and nobody gets the money or any other kind of satisfaction, except the character who represents death. Call it “No Country For Old Gentle Folk.”

–*Move to the lovely, green, laid-back city of Austin, Texas. With a few hundred thousand more people, we can finally ruin it.

–*Have another baby out of wedlock.

–*No, two more.

–*Suck up to weasel boss more

–*Kill mistress; make it look like an accident

–*Smell the roses more. Then kill mistress and make it look like an accident.

–*Lose weight. Smell more roses. Move to Iraq to see what you’re made of.

–*Stop getting tattoos and move on to body scarification, which is more painful and way cooler.

–*Be friendlier and more engaging to that talkative 18-year-old pagan waitress who works at Bennigan’s. Get her pregnant.

–*Stop smoking. Start cutting.

–*Chase more chickens.

–*Punch Bono

–*Learn French and then don’t use it.

–*Participate in more assisted suicides.

–*Live. If you’re lucky enough to keep doing so.

(Originally posted Tuesday, December 25, 2007)

Just want to wish everybody a Merry Christmas. “Beauty Is Imperfection” blogs will be less frequent for a week or so as I share the holidays with family. Feel free to leave comments telling me how your Christmas worked out for you.

Be of good cheer. Eat hearty. Avoid the drama, unless it gets you something you want.

Love Eric & Steph and all of us here at the Retributioners family

(Originally posted Tuesday, December 18, 2007)

–*The Iraq War

–*Immigration

–*Where’d that baby come from?

–*Aunt Rhody’s drinking problem

–*Uncle Cyrus’ smack habit

–*The visitor from the State School at the end of the table. Who in the hell is he?

–*What did you do with the money, Dad?

–*Again, we won’t discuss grandma’s long ago affair with famed literary critic Edmund “Bunny” Wilson after WWII.

–*Or Great Uncle Saul’s shameful encounter with Montgomery Clift, who wasn’t looking too good at the time

–*How you forgot to buy me a present last year.

–*How you remembered to buy one, but it was “Tuesdays With Morrie” and it was the second god damned year in a row.

–*The polyps in Aunt Sally’s wackadoo. Though you know she’s going to talk about it anyway.

(Originally posted Monday, December 17, 2007)

Germany has recently ruled that Scientology is an unconstitutional organization. What other alternative religions and creeds are they banning?

–*Wiccans for Jesus

–*Free love cathars

–*Shell-fish eating anabaptists

–*The Realigned Schismatic Rosicrucians of Thuringia (Minister Bob’s Sect)

–*Christmas-Easter Atheists

–*Flesh-eating Bogomils

–*The Pro Man-Boy Love Chapter of the Knights Templar

–*The Church of Sally Kirkland

–*The Society for Creative Anachronism Suicide Squad

–*Zoroastrians for the Madonna (all of them)

–*Sufis Who Lunch

–*Mormons For Beer

–*Any Syncretic Mix of Roman Catholicism and Apache

–*Boston Celtic Fans For the Restoration of the Tridentine Mass

–*Jews For A Third Temple

–*Muslims Ready To Tear Down The Third Temple

–*Monophysites For Bo Derek

–*Coptics For The “Jesus Was A Ball of Gas” Theory

–*The Church of Christ “Pro-Dancing and Miniskirts Sect” of Osh Kosh, Wisconsin.