–*The guy who’s going to eat your lunch.
–*The guy who’s going to eat that whole pizza.
–*The woman who’s going to break up your marriage.
–*The photographer who’s going to make this the best high school reunion ever.
–*The radio host who’s going to ruin Barack Obama’s day.
–*The man who’s going to snort a couple of bumps and then drop dead playing racquetball.
–*The man who’s keeping the Fed funds rate at 2% so that the resulting weakened dollar will cause net export numbers to spike.
–*The guy who told you all along that gutting the Glass-Steagall Act was a bad idea and would wreck the economy.
–*The grocery clerk who’s going to force you to use that gun.
–*The Lesbian your mom’s gonna move in with.
–*The lady astronaut who will drive all night, not even stopping to change her soiled astronaut diapers, to win back your love.
–*The man who opened the Berlin Wall by accident.
–*The man who taught Anna Nicole how to love.
–*The woman who taught Grover Norquist how to love.
–*The woman who gave the most guys chlamydia at South Beach last spring break
–*The guy whose potato looks more like Jesus than any other potato in this part of Nebraska.
–*The guy with the biggest opening weekend in box office history
–*God
–*Jesus
–*John Lennon
–*James Cameron
–*It doesn’t matter who I think I am, because existence precedes essence, and only my actions define me.
–*I don’t know who I am, but maybe I’ll have it figured out by the time my reality show begins its third season.
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