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Archive for November 10th, 2009

–*The guy who’s going to eat your lunch.

–*The guy who’s going to eat that whole pizza.

–*The woman who’s going to break up your marriage.

–*The photographer who’s going to make this the best high school reunion ever.

–*The radio host who’s going to ruin Barack Obama’s day.

–*The man who’s going to snort a couple of bumps and then drop dead playing racquetball.

–*The man who’s keeping the Fed funds rate at 2% so that the resulting weakened dollar will cause net export numbers to spike.

–*The guy who told you all along that gutting the Glass-Steagall Act was a bad idea and would wreck the economy.

–*The grocery clerk who’s going to force you to use that gun.

–*The Lesbian your mom’s gonna move in with.

–*The lady astronaut who will drive all night, not even stopping to change her soiled astronaut diapers, to win back your love.

–*The man who opened the Berlin Wall by accident.

–*The man who taught Anna Nicole how to love.

–*The woman who taught Grover Norquist how to love.

–*The woman who gave the most guys chlamydia at South Beach last spring break

–*The guy whose potato looks more like Jesus than any other potato in this part of Nebraska.

–*The guy with the biggest opening weekend in box office history

–*God

–*Jesus

–*John Lennon

–*James Cameron

–*It doesn’t matter who I think I am, because existence precedes essence, and only my actions define me.

–*I don’t know who I am, but maybe I’ll have it figured out by the time my reality show begins its third season.

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