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Archive for November 6th, 2009

–*Overcoming our enemies in hand-to-hand combat

–*Climbing trees 50% faster

–*Playing the tenor saxophone 50% faster

–*Accomplishing online stock trading and metal soldering at the same time

–*Talking on our cell phone while driving and sneering at the cops while doing so

–*Doing a really weird fist bump with the guy who played Screech

–*Picking our extra nostril.

–*Pulling the lever for “no” on that new nuclear power plant

–*Doing a pretty drag-ass imitation of Vishnu

–*Bitch slapping as many people on “The Hills” as we can

–*Getting extra wicked pissed that some other guy with an extra limb beat us out for the title role in the local gaslight theater production of Edward Albee’s “The Man Who Had Three Arms.”

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