What Completely Made-Up Traffic Violations Have The New York City Police Cited You For?
–*Violation of the 24-hour moving rule
–*The standing room only rule
–*The no standing within an inch of where you shouldn’t be standing rule
–*The failure to make a hedge around the Torah standing rule
–*Violation of the 24-hour too-sexy rule
–*Violation of the “too many hot babes in a car” rule
–*Violating the moving and shaking rule
–*Standing at a commuter van stop longer than necessary to pick up passengers, blow your nose or laugh at approximately two paragraphs of material from beloved humorist Dave Barry
–*Driving while dead
–*Driving while intoxicated … with love
–*Driving without agreements with General Motors’ senior bondholders about their rights in a forced liquidation
–*Driving with a stick of butter up your ass
–*Violating the rule against driving while PhotoShopping John Kerry into a handshake with Ho Chi Minh
–*Driving a “car,” which according to French literary critic Roland Barthes is nothing but a meaningless semion
–*Driving a car in New York City, a large built up environment which clearly has no room for such activity
Beauty is Imperfection 
Leave a Reply