(Originally posted Thursday, December 06, 2007)
As MySpace has told you, it’s my birthday. We are all getting up there. And I am really getting up there. A person at my age is hopefully a little bit more defined, has spent some time figuring out who he is and what he’s made of. He knows his strengths and weaknesses. He hopefully knows what accoutrements and effects he needs and what he doesn’t need to live in happiness and blessedness, and hopefully he knows that to need less makes him more of a person. I think it’s harder to buy presents for anybody as they get older, because as we grow, we each become more unique and particular and our deepest inner workings become more of a mystery, even, dare I say, to those who know us best.
Having said that, here’s what you could get me for my birthday if you wanted to buy me something:
–*Errors & Omissions Insurance
–*A Steadicam
–*A Cleopatra costume for a music video I’m planning
–*A $3000 Roland keyboard
–*A high end professional digital video camera. Or a real Arriflex film camera
–*A plane ticket to Istanbul
–*A plane ticket to Nicaragua
–*Thomas Pynchon’s phone number
–*Financing for a feature film with a budget of $100,000
–*Time. I could always use more time
In lieu of all these expensive or impossible things, you can just do one thing for my birthday: Watch “The Retributioners.” Tell your friends to watch it. Hey! It’s my birthday, after all!
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