Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Sunday, December 16, 2007)

A list of mild and unimportant afflictions we are currently medicating.

–*Restless tongue syndrome

–*Tired ligament syndrome

–*Dormant hangnail disorder

–*Over-attentiveness disorder

–*Angry bursae

–*Porn elbow

–*Idiopathic pissiness disorder

–*Delusional halitosis

–*Postnasal anger

–*Tears that smell like butane

–*Purulent belly-button

–*Ropy eye gowl

–*Congenital pink eye

–*Chronic irritated chilblain

–*Weeping Tourette syndrome

–*Post pyogenic boil lancing stress anxiety

–*Walking scurvy

–*Nantucket summer home toenail necrosis

–*Spotted dick syndrome

–*Easter Island swollen head

–*The Lesser Antilles Rash

–*Christmas mince pie foot abscesses

–*Social anxiety hat-wearing disorder

and

–*Adirondack pee-shyness