Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Wednesday, December 05, 2007)

A list of compliments no one ever wants to hear:

“You’re beautiful, except when you smile or talk.”

“You have a great laugh aside from the stupid things you laugh at.”

“You don’t sweat much for a fat person.”

“You look just like Julia Roberts would look if she weren’t as pretty.”

“Your acting in that Chekhov play was delightfully vacuous. I mean, you really do vacant and blank well.”

“You seem really well adjusted for someone whose mother tried to raise him as the opposite sex.”

“You read a lot for a Baptist.”

“Your presidential candidate seems awfully plain-spoken and refreshingly simple.”

“You seem very rational for a person who waves around an embryo in a plastic bag during protest marches and spits blood.”

“You’re so witty, if not really funny.”

“Your lack of book smarts is refreshingly unself-conscious.”

“Your Web show seems to have a very selective audience.”