(Originally posted Wednesday, December 05, 2007)
A list of compliments no one ever wants to hear:
“You’re beautiful, except when you smile or talk.”
“You have a great laugh aside from the stupid things you laugh at.”
“You don’t sweat much for a fat person.”
“You look just like Julia Roberts would look if she weren’t as pretty.”
“Your acting in that Chekhov play was delightfully vacuous. I mean, you really do vacant and blank well.”
“You seem really well adjusted for someone whose mother tried to raise him as the opposite sex.”
“You read a lot for a Baptist.”
“Your presidential candidate seems awfully plain-spoken and refreshingly simple.”
“You seem very rational for a person who waves around an embryo in a plastic bag during protest marches and spits blood.”
“You’re so witty, if not really funny.”
“Your lack of book smarts is refreshingly unself-conscious.”
“Your Web show seems to have a very selective audience.”
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