(Originally posted Sunday, November 04, 2007)
In the era of podcasts, YouTube and MySpace, presidential candidates are finding more innovative ways to connect with voters than they have in the past. What are some of the more promising strategies for you if you’re a candidate?
–*Doing the Macarena on the Ellen DeGeneres show
–*Showing your environmental sensitivity by tattooing your campaign logo on every dolphin
–*Having a widely dispersed sex tape
–*Making an example of communal living and radical self-expression at the Burning Man festival by “campaigning” with conceptual art “buttons” and “bumper stickers”
–*Putting up a cry for help on YouTube that being a candidate totally sucks and you can never say what you really want and that you’re stuck in your room all the time while your staff keeps you locked in, crying and lonely and detached from reality
–*Penning an autobiography in prison that clearly states your mission and why you got into politics, calling it “The Little Red Book” or “My Struggle”
–*Being the subject of a viral video in which you are attacked by a feral cat or kicked in the testicles
–*Wallowing in your last-place status by telling the truth about how America is going to be a mostly Hispanic country in 100 years, and how this is just a simple demographic reality, and so we might as well start learning the god damned language now
–*Wallowing in your last-place status by suggesting we stop using the abomination known as the “automobile”
–*Appearing as an authority figure in the “High School Musical” series and singing a song called, “Pull Yourselves Up By The Bootstraps, Kids, Because You’re Likely Not Going To Be Able To Retire”
–*Answering to Bill Maher; you must answer to Bill Maher.
Beauty is Imperfection 
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