Archive for August 12th, 2009

–*I was mad

–*I was out of control

–*It just felt better

–*Didn’t have any snappy comebacks

–*It was a demonstrable crime of passion, and after all, I was in Turkey.

–*Don’t have a lot of book-learnin’

–*I saw her first

–*Man is a violent animal. It is in our genes to be territorial and combative. It is how we survive in a world full of natural enemies and … just kidding, I was bused to the town hall by a Republican political action group

–*I was just doing what Kevin told me

–*I was just doing what Rush told me

–*The tools of skillful diplomacy had no longer worked to my satisfaction as an undersecretary of the Defense Department and I decided to press for invasion

–*The pitiful man insulted Dear Leader

–*I wanted his gold, therefore I took it

–*I wanted his iPod, therefore I took it

–*I wanted his degree from Harvard, therefore I knew no other solution than to beat him over the head

–*If a woman wouldn’t tear out the hair of another woman to hold onto the man she loved, well then that ain’t no kind of woman at all.

–*I’m a meerkat and nothing gets done in my colony unless I eat the young of my competitors

–*Seemed easier than actually reading the entire 1,000 page health care bill.

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