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Posts Tagged ‘Sydney Sweeney’

–*This Ryan Reynolds look-alike has people doubting their own sanity.

–*This bog body was obviously not having a good time 8,000 years ago.

–*You’re being attracted to Sydney Sweeney all wrong.

–*Are you really into Pre-Raphaelite art or just into crazy chicks? Take this quiz.

–*Will anything stop Timothée Chalamet? What about his being chained to this radiator?

–*How this brain-eating amoeba learned to relax.

–*How your inability to do long division is making you feel safer in these Red States.

–*That song you’re enjoying right now … have you thought about whether it’s less perfect than “God Only Knows” by the Beach Boys?

–*Nation‘s pigeons want to know: Are you going to drop that bread?

–*Customer service representative confidently refers you back to the number you already dialed.

–*This devastated chef used to be a devastated cook.

–*And just like that, “Sex and the City” removed all the jokes from the scripts.

–*Children of alcoholics confess: A few of the years were fun.

–*The NSA admits the nation’s paranoids are getting too boring to eavesdrop on.

–*We threw random punches at people, and if you know anything about mammals, their reactions will not surprise you.

–*Don’t let sinkholes get you down.

–*This fast food disruptor offers hamburger solutions.

–*Last bit of imagination this Ohio man boasted could’ve been used on climate solutions, but he wrote a dragon screenplay.

–*Last bit of imagination this New York man boasted could’ve been used on climate solutions, but he wrote a comedy listicle.

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  • She was a massive star. Then she vanished when we stopped paying attention to her.
  • These clouds are certainly taking their time to piss rain, says self appointed park weatherman.
  • This woman was tired of waiting on the Holy Spirit and is now just abusing the maintenance staff.
  • Scott Baio seeking new state to be unemployed actor in.
  • We just diarrheaed ourselves over Sydney Sweeney’s glam body hugger Miu Miu dress.
  • This Ukrainian drone was the worst gender reveal party ever.
  • Scientists now agree: weed makes you mellower, stinkier.
  • Why Hollywood won’t cast Jack Lemmon anymore.
  • ChatGPT called Prince Harry’s ghostwriter a slow punk ass bitch.
  • This sexy banker was a “10,” but his above-junk mismatches and overexposure to longer duration made him a “3” when everything tightened.
  • This kid swallowed a bitcoin and shat nothing.
  • These woke teens slept late and missed the first half of the movie. “Sonny Corleone was killed for nothing.”
  • “This show won’t be on Netflix soon because nobody has cast, produced or funded it,” says angry screenwriter.
  • Gee, this interview with a 90-year-old veteran turned racist pretty fast.
  • Florida vows to sell its sinkholes only to American citizens.
  • Teen describes mom’s attempt to reach out to him: “Do you believe that cold-blooded bitch?”
  • Senator describes Kyrsten Sinema’s attempts to ask him about his weekend: “Do you believe that cold-blooded bitch?”
  • Jennifer Aniston went grocery shopping, and Twitter users were not impressed. “Tone deaf AF.”
  • When this lawyer said she only dates lumberjacks, who’d have known she wasn’t fucking around?
  • Uh-oh! That’s a lot of dairy, right there.
  • You can’t deny that this woman sitting on a bus reading a Carl Hiaasen book is iconic.
  • You won’t believe what happened to this sexy bombshell’s clothes unless you book Iceland tickets now.
  • You’ll never guess what most people believed last Friday.
  • These fast-breeding Gen Z slang words are clutch snipperz.
  • Mob justice: if it were ice cream, why the kids would be eating it every day.
  • This see-through dress worn by Elizabeth Olsen had fans remembering that it’s important to spay and neuter their cats.
  • This guy insisted that he saw Captain Kirk over there, but his friend wasn’t having it.
  • Lady Macbeth shouted at the damn spot but Twitter wasn’t having it. “OK, Boomer. Put ice on it.”
  • The fact of inevitable death sucks, but reminding other people they’re going to die makes it a little easier.
  • Is Twitter OK with us announcing this bake sale Friday?

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