|
1 CBS
Survivor Cooking
2 ABC
The Bachelor 8: Escape From The Bachelor
5 Fox
Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire
And Then Immolate Herself When He Dies?
21 Cinemax Two
Sexy Cop Lady
33 Cartoon Network
Detective Flatus
79 CUNY Albany Public Access
The "Hell Is Other People" French Cooking Show
("L'enfer, c'est les autres ... dans ma cuisine!")
101 Sundance Channel
The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl
23 E! Entertainment Television
The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Dana Plato
218 Cinemax One
Obsessive Compulsions, starring Shannon Tweed
200 HBO1
Real Sex 25: Strippers, Hippies, Orgies
201 HBO2
Jerry Maguire
202 HBO Espanol
Real Sex 25: Chicas Hippies Desnudas
210 Showtime
Hot Tudor Action
107 Hallmark
Sarah, Hatchet-Faced And Sullen
108 The Movie Channel
A Love Song for Bobby Long
42 C-SPAN
A Warrant For Henry Kissinger
35 Public Access
Robin Byrd's Quadriplegic Nude Talk Show
10 Fox News
All The Heroes We Could Dig Up
37 Lifetime
Cagney & Lacey
38 Headline News
Scott & Laci (A Nancy Grace Dead Horse)
215 Cinemax Three
Fatal Tumescence
18 History
From Indians to Huns, Classic Prophylactics
19 Discovery
Triumphs of Boeing
22 Spike TV
Crash It, Burn It, Kill It!
|
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
What’s On TV Tonight, March 28, 2007
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
Horror Movie On YouTube!
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
A psychological horror tale from a friend of mine, Dana Wickens, starring yours truly in my very short, abortive acting career.
Enjoy it here.
Dana’s also the drummer for a Boston rock outfit called The Yestones, and you can hear a really cool song they did called “London” here.
(Originally posted March 27, 2007)
Poem
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
For Us, It Is Always 9-10
We bowled open the heavy black door
And light bloated our faces
From the cellar, as freaks
Flooded in and out;
Destination: Taxi stand
Robust in your plastic wrap
And platform shoes
The boilers sobbing under your feet.
Every brouhaha was new then,
Every fight was golden,
That ghost-fishing night
I gave you away with your
Ludicrous plume to your anger
The diadem and feather fan
And the gold espadrilles
A complement of Meat Packing District Trannies
It was a beautiful drama in a prelapsarian blue light
Of dawn, always our address
The room where we poked each other in the hurt
To see where the hurt was
We still live there, some of us; because for us it is always 9-10
Two long stemmed lovers
With all these tomorrows frozen before us
A day still stiff in my knuckles with my lapels
A kiss waiting on a rouged mouth,
Still hanging to die
–Eric Rasmussen
(originally published March 19, 2007)
The Next Hot Reality TV Catch Phrase
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
|
(Originally posted March 17, 2007)
I was quite impressed when I heard the latest dismissal used on the Pussycat Dolls reality show: “Hang up your boa.” This striking quotable, as well as the phrase “You’re NOT the one that we want,” from the Grease reality TV show, made me wonder what other reality TV catch-phrases might await us in 2007 for real Americans in real-life situations: “Get out of the stirrups. You will not be America’s next surrogate mom.” “Drum him out. He is no longer a U.S. Marine.” “You are defrocked.” “Hand over the keys to the combine.” “You must leave the safe house.” “You are stripped of your command.” “Back to the general prison population with you.” “Strike the set: You will not be the next great American playwright.” “Get out. She doesn’t want to be married to you anymore.” (Donald Trump’s involvement in this would make it that much better.) “We can’t send you home from Iraq just now.” “You have been voted out of the halfway house.” “You will not be getting the morphine.” “You are not the state.” “Hand over the diaphragm.” “We’re repossessing your car.” (Another Trump classic, I hope) “You are not the baby daddy.” “Back away from the laproscope.” “Leave your cleaver on the block.” “Farewell, my concubine.” “Drop your pelts.” “Walk the plank.” “You are impeached.” “You must forfeit parental rights.” “You have been downgraded to sub-prime.” “It is not safe.” “You will not be cured.” “We’re foreclosing.” “Prince von Anhalt no longer desires your company.” “You have been forsaken.” “I have in my pocket only three prophylactics … which means one of you girls must go upstairs, back your bags, and leave the whorehouse.” Got more, bitches? Post ’em. |
What’s On TV Tonight, March 14, 2007
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
4 NBC
Donald Trump’s New Show: You Will Choke On Our Fabulous Cash And Prizes (Reality)
5 ABC
Louis Farrakhan: An Invitation To Dance (More Reality)
7 Fox
American Idol
218 Cinemax One
Technically Venial Sins
209 Nickelodeon
My Mom Lives With A Lady Cop
211 Public Access
Graphics and Static
47 Fox News
Hate Week Continues
49 HBO
Cat House Avec Douche: The Girls Go To France
106 Discovery Health
Informercial: Herbal Penis Enlargement With Your Host Dionne Warwick
110 The Food Network
Lentils!
120 C-SPAN Bookview
Katherine Harrison on “The Fathers I’ve Had”
127 Independent Film Channel
Bully For Kids: Larry Clarke’s Delinquent Fetish
10 USA
“Bob Packwood: The Right Amount of Bounce,” a movie event starring Liam Neeson
133 Oxygen
Let’s Talk Orgasms To Death
137 Lifetime
Seventy-two Hour “Desperate Housewives” Marathon
138 Spike TV
It Isn’t Dead Yet! (Reality)
140 Sundance Channel
Franny & Milo Go On A Walkabout
141 MTV
Beavis and Butthead Go On A Walkabout
150 History Channel
Historically Accurate Dramatizations of William The Conqueror Exploding in a Fiery Ball of Pus
What’s On TV Tonight, March 13, 2007
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
|
2 Fox 4 NBC 5 ABC 7 Fox 13 PBS 18 Prayer Network 17 History Network 18 MTV 20 MTV 2 22 E! Entertainment 24 Cartoon Network 27 Canadian Broadcasting Services 29 Country Music Television 30 CNN 31 Comedy Central 32 MSNBC 34 Cinemax 35 Showtime 34 TLC 35 Discovery Kids 38 Fox News 39 BET Black Entertainment Network 40 HBO 41 Sundance Channel 42 Playboy Channel |
Check Out My Wife On the Internet
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
My wife Stephanie is featured in short film, part of a “Webisode” called “The Fool,” which you can view on YouTube.
Eric’s Top Ten List: Sex and the City
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
Top Ten Things Sex and the City Would Say
- Meanwhile, across town, Samantha felt like Cinderalla, always coming to the ball too early.
- And so I had to ask myself: How important is oral sex? Are we losing our heads over head?
- After two hours of Fleet Week, Miranda had seen more swabs than she had at the gynecologist in 10 years
- Meanwhile, across town, Charlotte was learning a whole new meaning of the term “face time.”
- When you live in New York, you have to ask yourself, “Was it a Vuitton bag, or just emotional baggage?”
- Was I cuckoo for cocoa?
- For Samantha, it was more than just a one night stand—it was one night standing room only.
- As I sat alone with my Cosmopolitan and cigarette, I wondered if a broken heart was something you could mend by having meaningless sex with a stranger.
- Delia was looking for someone who could handily beat the S&P, and then be handily beaten in S&M
- That night, Samantha’s tricks were for kids.
(Originally posted March 7, 2007)
What’s On TV Tonight
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
(Originally posted March 8, 2007)
2 CBS News
Scooty Libby Trial
4 NBC News
I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby Trial
5 ABC News
Scooter Libby To Be Sentenced
7 Fox
American Idol
13 PBS
Frontline: Scooter Libby, Crime and Punishment
18 Prayer Network
The Passion of Scooter Libby
17 History Network
Scooter Libby and A History of American Prisons
18 MTV
Scooter Libby: Gettin’ Punk’d, But Not In A Fun Way
20 MTV 2
Cribs
22 ESPN
Scooter Libby, Pitching And Catching
24 Court TV
Who Needs Forensic Files When The Guy’s Obviously Lying?
27 Canadian Broadcasting Services
“Vivre le Quebec libre!”
29 Hallmark
Scooter Libby: Chasing A Dream
30 CNN
Larry King interviews people who have been in situations very vaguely similiar to Scooter Libby’s.
31 Family
“Little House on the Prairie” preempted by the newest Watergate-type scandal offered us by the GOP
32 MSNBC
Countdown: “Twenty-two Months Until Pardon”
33 Comedy Central
Where people will actually get the news about Scooter Libby.
34 TLC
Trading Spaces … With Scooter Libby and Charles Manson
35 Discovery Kids
Identify The Young Person In This Picture Who Would Grow Up To Become Vice President and Order Scooter Libby To Break The Law
38 Fox News
Anna!
Eric’s Top Ten List
Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2009| Leave a Comment »
(Originally posted on MySpace March 6, 2007)
Eric’s Top Ten List
… because if it were Letterman, you’d be watching it on TV.
Top Ten Things Teenagers Would Say:
10. It feels better without a Jimmy Hat.
9. I got clobbered at Level 9.
8. “…big boobs, but also a sense of humor…”
7. Who cares? Let’s smoke it.
6. The army recruiter says he can really help my music career.
5. But Jimmy said he loved me.
4. I can be a mom AND go to school.
3. You know Betrand Russell’s paradox about incomplete number sets in Principia Mathematica? I totally got it last night when I was on Ecstasy.
2. I don’t care, I want him dead.
1. I’ll never be like Kevin.
