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Archive for September, 2025

  • Why if you pick the wrong gutter leaf cleaning service, you’ll be damned forever to hell.
  • Why the Pillsbury Doughboy’s political awakening was as creepy and unexpected as it was timely.
  • This TikTok influencer angrily spoke in tongues about a discontinued Dairy Queen item, and we all understood.
  • This once-rageful alpha male comes clean about his hemorrhoid journey.
  • This tradwife was cleaning the toilet like a rock star.
  • Who’s making dinner tonight? Fuck you if you think it’s me.
  • This peaceful city was turned into a war zone in the minds of rural people stealing anhydrous ammonia.
  • Why Hollywood won’t hire Brittany Murphy anymore.
  • This woman who looked up “perineum flowers” was understandably shocked by her findings.
  • Why are so many people’s last words so meh?
  • Study finds biggest hatred shared by recent immigrants: Even more recent immigrants.
  • Why this video of a fawn stumbling awkwardly through the rainy forest surprisingly hasn’t been politicized yet.
  • Free thinker who doubts usefulness of mRNA research is also that guy who disappeared around your sophomore year to “go work with my dad.”
  • Why what happened at school today is none of your business, Mom.
  • Why this Tucson man is worried about you being so young and pretty and alone.
  • Why researchers think the male loneliness epidemic and the male horniness epidemic might be related.
  • Dad’s not doing so well says not-blind daughter.
  • Why these seven appetizers will make you give up on the idea of going back to college.
  • Why Nicole Kidman’s personal turmoil is absolutely yours to delectate in, according to an op-ed writer at Cigar Aficionado magazine.
  • Why this TikTok stitch had to be finished with World War II aerial stock footage after a twisted ankle incident.
  • “It’s not like this marriage started with cartoon animals dressing a happy bride,” and other noted divorce attorney quips.
  • This for-sale house wasn’t haunted by a ghost, per se. But its drywall was indeed ruined by the cigarette-smoking previous owner.
  • Your friend Peter’s racist dad has a lot to say about sluts, too.
  • When does encouraging elderly people to say exactly what’s on their minds become a form of elder abuse? We ask because Peter’s dad is still talking and Peter’s obviously getting a sick thrill from showing him off.
  • This big floppy sandwich wasn’t about to take a TikTok exercise influencer’s bullshit.
  • You’ll never believe what the National Center for Integrative Cleanses said about this detox … because no such center exists. Made you look, asshole!

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I am very proud to announce that my 45th album, a rock-pop work, has just hit the streaming services.

It’s called The Green, Green Gas of Home and it’s been released under the name of my musical act, Salon de la Guerre. I recorded it over the summer. It’s a New Wave-y album with environmental and apocalyptic themes that touches on issues of dementia and memory, things that have affected those near to my heart. It’s got a little soul and a little krautrock.

A lot of the album was recorded with my Logic Pro software instruments, though I snuck in a guitar performance for sonic texture. As much as I loved working with my collaborator Christina E., who did some vocals on my last album, the latest work is, once again, all me all the time in my one-man-band mode.

I describe the album this way on my Bandcamp page:

“Salon de la Guerre’s 45th album is a mix of uptempo pop, rock and electronic songs with apocalyptic overtones about environmental calamity, mental decline, and the economies that emerge from civil collapse, as well as the toll these phenomena take on our families and interpersonal relationships. It’s also got a dose of hope.”

For those of you counting, I now have 586 songs in circulation. If you’re asking, “Does this guy have some kind of weird obsession with counting his songs in the hundreds, and is he excited somehow to say that he’s written almost 600 songs?” The answer is yes and yes. Asked and answered. Sue me.

You can now find The Green, Green Gas of Home available for streaming on services such as Pandora, Amazon Music, Apple Music, Bandcamp, YouTube and Spotify, among other many other platforms both domestic and global. (I still don’t offer physical media like CDs or vinyl, though I can always dream … one day … maybe … )

As usual, the album was written, arranged, performed and produced by me in my home studio in New York City. The album’s cover photo of the child in the gas mask is by Lisa5201.

You can listen to a sample here:

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First Draft Prophets

After the grid shut down, 
A religious order rose in the darkness
The charismatic types
They suddenly had found new purpose.

The lord gave animals
To those on whom 
New grace was shown

The winners and losers now
Had rearranged themselves somehow

The cries in the dark that night
Pretend not to hear it
Pretend not to hear it

Follow me and I’ll promise to
Show you land God gave to you
And the beasts you will be husband to

There was a lottery
Someone’s riding point tonight
New faces have appeared 
Like ghosts lost in the night

A world of orphans needs
A patriarch no matriarch
The tribe it must decide before 
The eyes go dark 
What lessons are learned
Principles barked

And a leeward green and windward blue
The ark’s bacteria carried mostly in you
Gut flora hosannas and minuscule cheers
Carried the day; they were our seers

A world of orphans needs no dogma now
Leviathan the blush blue cow
Still chases us in reddish ruts
Leaves us yearning with tiny cuts
Leaves us burning in sun’s russeted butts
And hoping to churn in a new god’s guts.

(Photo: prozac1 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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