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Archive for October 4th, 2012

Secularists have continued to argue that the motto “In God We Trust” on U.S. paper currency violates the First Amendment’s clause prohibiting the establishment of religion. What are some of the other mottoes that have been considered.

–*U pluribus unum

–*Spiritual but not religious

–*Money talks

–*Because we say so

–*Shazam!

–*Boo-yah!

–*Everybody dance, now!

–*Nothing gold can stay

–*Backed by gold … not!

–*Backed by fuck you

–*All law is founded in violence

–*Redeemable for five ski ball tickets

–*Existence precedes essence

–*For use as legal tender and artificial currency deflation by China

–*Your mama

–*Love means never having to say you’re sorry

–*Liberty, fraternity … let’s stop with two

–*You like me, you really really like me

–*I never promised you a rose garden

–*Only the strongest survive

–*Remember the Alamo

–*No regrets

–*Seize the day

–*Fished you in! Get the net!

–*Take me to the place you cry.

–*Put this where your heart used to be.

–*Amen and pass the ammunition.

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–*Mitt Romney’s economic plan assumes that even people like Donald Trump are small businessmen. But Trump is actually very tall.

–*If beloved Sesame Street character Big Bird wants to keep his job, he’s going to have redevelop his skill set, moving from education into customer service at Dell Computers. I’m sorry, did I say Big Bird? I meant all teachers.

–*Mitt Romney believes we have a trickle down government, and that it instead ought to come in a more convenient spray bottle.

–*When it comes to government helping the economy, Barack Obama has one word: railroads.

–*Mitt Romney’s health care plan would continue to help people with pre-existing conditions if Mitt Romney’s fingers are crossed.

–*The word “rationing” is so exciting to the basal ganglia of Main Street Republicans, that they need not even think about what it means. Thank you, George Will.

–*Today’s episode of Sesame Street was sponsored by the letter “C” … for China.

–*People in public regularly grab Mitt Romney by the arm without fear of reprisal.

–*Mitt Romney is going to crack down on China. Also, he’s going to crack down on Mount Everest and the San Andreas Fault.

–*Barack Obama wants to help small businesses, especially by making them feel special with avalanches of 1099s mailed right to their doors every time somebody buys a hammer from them.

–*Big Bird owes his job to China. Which is kind of a funny thing to bring up, since every U.S. president since Ronald Reagan also owes his job to China.

–*Mitt Romney hates it when the government mistreats small businesses, especially since that’s big business’s job.

–*The free market needs to be free. Also, we have to stop corporations from sending jobs overseas. If you think you can work out that contradiction in terms, then why don’t YOU be president, you know-it-alls.

–*Mitt Romney doesn’t care about 47% of Americans. No, actually we did not learn that last night, because Obama was too nice to bring it up. It was his wedding anniversary, after all, and he was probably not feeling mean spirited.

–*Haters don’t make good presidents. They do, however, make excellent constituents.

–*Barack Obama has taken money away from seniors and Paul Ryan has never done such a thing. There is nothing written anywhere, nothing with Paul Ryan’s name on it, nothing that says “Budget” by Paul Ryan that says something like he’s taking money away from seniors. Not one bit of black ink anywhere.

–*Wealthy people will do fine no matter who is president, says Mitt Romney. They will also do fine no matter what the tax rate is. Or what the health care bill says. They will also be fine if the earth’s water runs out, if a giant asteroid hits the planet, if the U.S. sells Florida to Spain, if soylent green is made out of people. … I’m sorry, why are we not raising taxes on the rich again?

–*The GOP has apparently made a small tactical shift by not running a drooling moron for high office.

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