Archive for September 22nd, 2011

Live Blogging The Emmys*

–*It’s nice to see Charlie Sheen presenting something other than blood in the urine.

–*Let’s face it. John Hamm should be nominated in both best actor and best actress categories, because nobody on “Mad Men” gets near as many lines as he does.

–*The audience laughs and laughs at a musical number starring the Lonely Island and Michael Bolton and Akon, hoping that the laughter turns soon into some understanding about what the musical piece is about.

–*Let’s have a montage of every drama on TV right now to remind them what they aren’t watching when the Jersey Shore is on.

–*Scott Caan is a douche. But that’s OK, it makes him a casting slam dunk.

–*The Emmys celebrates scripted television, serialized Saturday Evening Post fiction, CB radio, betamax video, DDT and kitschy knickknacks from the 50s.

–*A new category: most self-righteous dialogue on a show featuring a female lawyer.

–*A new category: most coy penis jokes on a show featuring female doctors.

–*A new category: the most disgusting and also highly unlikely forensics scenario that can be conceived by a murderer or the writer of a CBS crime show. CBS will be the clear winner.

–*The new Charlie’s Angels ask, “Would the world be a worse place if we recycled ideas?”

–*Oh, yeah. “Friday Night Lights” keeps winning everything.

–*This is Jane Lynch’s time. Unfortunately, it’s also Snooki’s time and Michele Bachmann’s time. So, really, this is not a very good time.

–*”Women’s Bathroom Spy Cam” is really lowering the bar on TV dramas this year.

–*The nominees for best stock market crash are, October 1987, September 2001, September 2008, February 2011 and August 2011. There are no winners.

–*The producers of the TV show “Glee” admit that the show is now only 60% glee.

–*Gloria Steinem called the new Playboy Club show sexist. That’s not fair. It’s way more stupid than sexist.

–*The “In Memorium” segment reminds who died, but also allows us to finally put some names to faces … “Oh! That guy died?”

–*JWoww insists that the success of Jersey Shore is really hanging on her shoulders.

–*Jane Lynch coyly suggests that the cast of “Entourage” are Lesbians.

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