Posts Tagged ‘writer’s strike’

(Originally posted Thursday, January 03, 2008 )

A WGA screenwriter in Buda, Texas walks alone holding a placard through the middle of town, across the street from the pie shop, in lieu of another “Without a Trace” repeat.

The “all cancer patient” version of “The Apprentice” (Repeat)

7 A&E
All our shows tonight will start with a decomposed body (Repeat)

9 Bravo
Brady Hunt (repeat)

10 VH-1
“Will It Blend?” and “America’s Next Top Model” Are Combined Into a Highly Satisfying Reality Series

11 Lifetime
Sad, mealy mouth female nerds honor all-powerful TV icon Xena, who unknowingly serves as an symbol of their inability to express themselves in day-to-day life

12 E! Entertainment Television
True Hollywood Story Investigates the Shattering Drama of Rock Stars with Crohn’s Disease and Psoriasis

13 History Channel
Anarchists, Communists and Terrorists Remembered For Their Scapegoating Usefulness As Our Celebration of Two Centuries of American Imperialism Continues

In the midst of a discussion of the discount trade window, Jim Cramer goes on an extended digression about his sexual prowess, finally screaming “I could cock block half the men in this city from this tiny TV screen.”

15 Showtime
Passive-Aggressive Suicide Girls Versus Bipolar Suicide Girls Dance-Off

16 MTV
A stripper would really take this show to the next level.

17 HBO
Wait, is that … no, not “The Sopranos.” Damn.

18 Logo
Eddie Murphy explains gay sex in a compassionate and thoughtful lecture.

19 CMT
Trick My Planned Parenthood Clinic

20 Spike TV
Extreme Tattoo Removal

21 We
End That Awful Marriage, Now!

22 Disney Family
That Mother Fucking Cat

23 PBS
In a continuing series of educational specials, Sesame Street’s lovable Elmo explains in easy to understand language how to potty, tie your shoes, wash your hands, masturbate, kill your own meat, cut open somebody’s trachea, perform a foreign body retrieval, hotwire a car, cheat on your SAT, build a roadside plastic explosive with nails, sheet metal and other debris, engage in homosexual lovemaking, perform euthanasia on an ailing loved one, deliver a bloody foal, and escape to Cuba.

24 CNN
Extra Cute Mike Huckabee Wins the Highly Amusing Iowa Caucuses

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(Originally posted Saturday, December 15, 2007)

Everyone on “Lost” has gills

Everyone in Chattanooga has a prehensile tail

Suspended during the writer’s strike, “30 Rock” is pre-empted by a writerless show where people do nothing but grunt and shove, groom and eat lice off each other

5 Fox
America’s Got Rickets

17 History Channel
The History of Nudity

18 A&E
Gene Simmons ends all fights by wagging his enormous tongue lubriciously at his family

20 Democracy Now
Remembering The Free Love Sensibilities of the Totally Unfuckable Anarchist Emma Goldman

21 Discover Health
The Vagina Speaks

22 Oxygen
Your Daughter Just Got Her First Period. Now Slap Her.

23 Discover
Let’s get a tooth pulled in the border town of Reynosa

24 CNN
Repeated loops of lone gunman on a videotape keeps your mind off the sorry state of health care

25 Headline News
Nancy Grace, in the delivery room with twins, screamingly indicts man who did this to her

26 Bloomberg News
It’s nothing but crawls and numbers and blinking lights and a little man talking in the corner, an experience that could be likened only to schizophrenia

27 Logo
Right Girl, Wrong Sex Parts

28 BBC America
Cheek, Dignity, Cheek, Dignity

29 Sundance
Depressing Ken Loach marathon followed by depressing global warming marathon

30 IFC
Kevin Smith: How to overcome incompetence with insufferable cleverness

31 VH-1
You might want to boil this show after you watch it

32 MTV
“The Real World” is off the air after being clumped together and rolled away on the hind feet of shit beetles

33 Food Network
Making the Japanese fat enough to fit into our clothes

34 Univision
I think the man with the beard is the bad guy

35 Fuse
The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black

36 VH-1 Classic
The Voluptuous Horror of the Starland Vocal Band

37 C-SPAN Books
The Voluptuous Horror of Christopher Hitchens

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