–*The death toll is either in the hundreds or in the low tens.
–*At least two bombs went off, though we can’t discount that one of the building echoes might have been a third or a fourth bombing.
–*Several Saudi nationals were taken into custody.
–*These Saudi nationals were then booked, tried, convicted and hanged after a speedy jury trial by day’s end.
–*The chief suspect is Mohamed Atta.
–*Marathons were invented by the Egyptians.
–*Boston is located in the great state of New Hampshire.
–*Every foreigner who fled the scene of the blast is a suspect. Only foreigners who ran toward the blast are in the clear.
–*Abe Vigoda is dead.
–*It wasn’t a bombing, it was just a fallen scaffolding.
–*It wasn’t really tax day, since you can always file an extension.
–*The Boston police cannot determine at this time if they have arrested a suspect.
–*The Boston police have been holding a mysterious man in an iron mask for 34 years who is thought to be President Obama’s twin brother, the man who can prove Obama was born in Kenya.
–*A conflagration later reported at the JFK Library was reported, but it was uncertain whether the event was a mechanical fire, an explosion, or just readers’ passion for books.
–*The New York Post‘s source is a woman named Lennay Kekua and The New York Post deeply loves her and believes she is The New York Post‘s soul mate.
–*Mahmoud Ahmadinejad likely factors into this story somewhere; The New York Post is just trying to find the right paragraph to stick him in.
–*Test X180 with fenugreek extract and ginseng will improve your performance on and off the field.
–*According to Boston police, Ronald Reagan’s sunny optimism allowed America to feel good about itself again.
Beauty is Imperfection 