What Clickbait Are We Reading Today, Sept. 30, 2025?
September 30, 2025 by Eric Rasmussen
- Why if you pick the wrong gutter leaf cleaning service, you’ll be damned forever to hell.
- Why the Pillsbury Doughboy’s political awakening was as creepy and unexpected as it was timely.
- This TikTok influencer angrily spoke in tongues about a discontinued Dairy Queen item, and we all understood.
- This once-rageful alpha male comes clean about his hemorrhoid journey.
- This tradwife was cleaning the toilet like a rock star.
- Who’s making dinner tonight? Fuck you if you think it’s me.
- This peaceful city was turned into a war zone in the minds of rural people stealing anhydrous ammonia.
- Why Hollywood won’t hire Brittany Murphy anymore.
- This woman who looked up “perineum flowers” was understandably shocked by her findings.
- Why are so many people’s last words so meh?
- Study finds biggest hatred shared by recent immigrants: Even more recent immigrants.
- Why this video of a fawn stumbling awkwardly through the rainy forest surprisingly hasn’t been politicized yet.
- Free thinker who doubts usefulness of mRNA research is also that guy who disappeared around your sophomore year to “go work with my dad.”
- Why what happened at school today is none of your business, Mom.
- Why this Tucson man is worried about you being so young and pretty and alone.
- Why researchers think the male loneliness epidemic and the male horniness epidemic might be related.
- Dad’s not doing so well says not-blind daughter.
- Why these seven appetizers will make you give up on the idea of going back to college.
- Why Nicole Kidman’s personal turmoil is absolutely yours to delectate in, according to an op-ed writer at Cigar Aficionado magazine.
- Why this TikTok stitch had to be finished with World War II aerial stock footage after a twisted ankle incident.
- “It’s not like this marriage started with cartoon animals dressing a happy bride,” and other noted divorce attorney quips.
- This for-sale house wasn’t haunted by a ghost, per se. But its drywall was indeed ruined by the cigarette-smoking previous owner.
- Your friend Peter’s racist dad has a lot to say about sluts, too.
- When does encouraging elderly people to say exactly what’s on their minds become a form of elder abuse? We ask because Peter’s dad is still talking and Peter’s obviously getting a sick thrill from showing him off.
- This big floppy sandwich wasn’t about to take a TikTok exercise influencer’s bullshit.
- You’ll never believe what the National Center for Integrative Cleanses said about this detox … because no such center exists. Made you look, asshole!
Posted in Satire, The Internet | Tagged cities, cleanse, crime, family, Fiction, Health, influencer, Life, Love, mRNA, TikTok, writing | Leave a Comment
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