Now that spring has sprung and temperatures are rising, many homeowners are bound to have visits from less-than-welcome creatures. But there is a way to deal with these pesky visitors other than using poison. Consider these natural methods of pest control.
–*Try spraying a little alcohol.
–*Put garlic at any of the ants’ entrance points.
–*Try to reason with the ants using Cartesian logic.
–*Try setting the ants on fire. Everybody knows that fire is natural.
–*Set about 50 anteaters loose in your home.
–*Play John Mayer constantly. The ants will know this is one party they do not want to go to.
–*Everybody knows ants hate chalk. Write “Fuck you, ants,” in chalk on the floor.
–*Make a ton of money and move into a house that’s better built.
–*Essential oils will repel ants but will likely attract Gwyneth Paltrow.
–*Ants communicate with pheromones. Disrupt their communication chain by trying to destroy all pheromones in your house, including your own.
–*Stick your hand into a fire ant pile and let them repeatedly sting you until they become bored with the practice and leave.
Beauty is Imperfection 
You can also get rid of aunts by turning off Fox News.