Beauty is Imperfection

—*Why Loving Your Parents Means You Probably Have a Chemical Imbalance

—*Why There’s Nothing To Smile About So Stop Smiling

—*Stop Right There With That Futile Plan

—*Everything You’re Doing With That Tomato Is Wrong

—*Why People Who Recognize Daylight Saving Turn Themselves Into Slaves

—*Why When You Give Somebody A Tip You Might As Well Be Putting a Cigar Out In Their Eyeball

—*How Delighting In the Sight of a Balloon Makes You Inured To Human Suffering

—*Don’t Write A Screenplay! Are You Out Of Your Mind?

—*We All Just Need to Stop Talking About the Moon

—*When Did Our Obsession With Billionaires Replace Our Obsession About Not Starving?

—*Well, Somebody’s Got To Mix This Concrete

—*You Have To Stop Vacuuming The Floor This Way Right Now