—*Why Loving Your Parents Means You Probably Have a Chemical Imbalance
—*Why There’s Nothing To Smile About So Stop Smiling
—*Stop Right There With That Futile Plan
—*Everything You’re Doing With That Tomato Is Wrong
—*Why People Who Recognize Daylight Saving Turn Themselves Into Slaves
—*Why When You Give Somebody A Tip You Might As Well Be Putting a Cigar Out In Their Eyeball
—*How Delighting In the Sight of a Balloon Makes You Inured To Human Suffering
—*Don’t Write A Screenplay! Are You Out Of Your Mind?
—*We All Just Need to Stop Talking About the Moon
—*When Did Our Obsession With Billionaires Replace Our Obsession About Not Starving?
—*Well, Somebody’s Got To Mix This Concrete
—*You Have To Stop Vacuuming The Floor This Way Right Now
Beauty is Imperfection 