Beauty is Imperfection

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum’s last name, as well all know, has also become sexual slang denoting a mix of lube and fecal matter (after columnist and activist Dan Savage started a contest several years back to give Santorum’s name a new meaning). The slang word has taken on a life of its own on the Internet, and even topped the actual Santorum in Google searches for a long time.

Santorum as sex substance has led to a field day of accidental double entendres. One of the most interesting is “Santorum Comes From Behind In Alabama Three-Way” and “Santorum Surges” and “Santorum Trails Romney.” What kind of headlines could we expect for the next four years if Santorum were actually to become president?

–*Santorum Flies Across the Country

–*Congress Fights Santorum

–*Santorum Bill Races Through Senate

–*Santorum Rushes to Hurricane Site

–*Santorum Rushes Into Iran

–*Santorum Bombs Iran

–*Santorum At Center of Oil Spill Controversy

–*Santorum Gushes Over Children

–*Santorum Pushes Natural Gas Fracking

–*Santorum On Madoff

–*Santorum on Obama

–*Santorum on George Bush

–*Santorum on Santorum

–*Santorum Demands More Oversight

–*Santorum Vowed To Faithfully Discharge Duties

–*Santorum Regulation Called Too Tight

–*Santorum Loosens Restrictions

–*Congress Looks Closely at Santorum Paper Trail

–*Santorum Demands Putin Out

–*Santorum Care Will Employ A Thousand New Nurses

–*Santorum Requires Stopgap Measure

–*Santorum Fails Cloture Motion

–*Vote Pushes Backstop For Santorum