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Posts Tagged ‘status updates’

(Originally posted Tuesday, March 03, 2009)

What are we posting on our Facebook status updates that are getting us fired?

–*Sally: I’m so bored at this job.

–*Jesse just took a box of paperclips.

–*Ralph plans to bang the new secretary.

–*Bernard is paying off old investors with new investors’ money.

–*Julie used to think that making erotic cakes would be endlessly fun, but like everything else it becomes tedious.

–*Judy just slept with her married boss Rick.

–*Rick is married but just slept with his underling Judy on his boss’s $495 Mid Century Modern gray tweed sofa, which isn’t anywhere near as easy to clean as the ads say.

–*Sarah is going to leave a typo in this memo to the head of financing as part of my small tendency toward Bakuninist-style anarchy and Situationist Internationale political gestures. Also I’m dyslexic.

–*Joey just left a pubic hair in every cake of soap on the third floor as part of a prank played on the guys in editorial.

–*Jason is going to interview no one and totally pull his latest New York Times story right out of his ass.

–*Governor Paterson is going to publicly embarrass Caroline Kennedy by calling her a liar and see my public approval rating dip to a nadir just to add to the mystique that I wield power badly.

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