What are we telling ourselves every day to stay positive?
–*If I try very hard, I know the pre-diabetic in me can shine through.
–*Don’t be the person who gives in to liquor and drugs. Be the person who sells liquor and drugs to some other dumb ass.
–*It’s not my business what other people think of me and my suspended driver’s license.
–*I should relax and enjoy the things I already have, namely, this bag of aluminum cans.
–*If you stay straight and fly right, you can get from South 98th Street to North 98th Street with no problem. All you need is a city with a decent grid system.
–*My failures make me who I am. What’s important is that the cops don’t find the fingerprints that make me who I am.
–*If you compare yourself with everybody, you’ll always come up short. Try comparing yourself only to those with terminal diseases, and you’ll definitely shine by comparison.
–*Yes I can think myself out of a wet paper bag, thank you very much!
–*Someday I’ll be back on top and I’ll spit on all you losers. … And I say that with only good feelings in my heart.
–*I can beat this Tourette’s cock sucking monkey fucker.
–*It’s not my fault my hedge fund went under, it’s the god damn mark-to-market accounting rules that did me in.
–*If I’m so dumb, how come my subspecies wiped out the Neanderthals?
–*There’s no manual for how to be a human being. … But there are several critical pamphlets that we could read to watch our enormous sodium intake.
–*We’re all the same in God’s eyes. … Actually, scratch that. That’s a real motivation killer.
Beauty is Imperfection 