–*This Mary Tyler Moore hack will help you take a nothing day and make it all seem worthwhile
–*Say goodbye to moldy broads.
–*Sorry, we meant to say moldy boards … cutting boards
–*This Christian OnlyFans model used to be naked AF.
–*“Bitcoin will change your life!” says this guy who now heads a kidnapping ring.
–*To be clear, I don’t own any crypto, says the author of this blog.
–*Your credentials. Why do you care if I have them for a few minutes?
–*This reformed criminal really gets off on telling you how bad he used to be.
–*This reformed porn star is … oops, never mind; she just went back into the business for the third time.
–*This small town theater production of Romeo and Juliet will have you snickering, “It is the East, and Juliet is 41.”
–*This super cool MTA app will let you verify that your train is not fucking coming anytime soon.
–*If we tell you to sniff this app, you will probably sniff it.
–*This nuclear fission cleanse will suck the atoms right out of your face.
–*Are you really calling the person you think you’re calling? Take this Montreal Cognitive Assessment.
–*It’s kind of like a game, Grandpa!
–*This AI algorithm might flatter you a little, but will it let you back in the air lock?
–*Has your mom been replaced by a robot? Take the schizophrenia quiz.
–*This tradwife hopes you’ll be impressed watching her make bread and also shove a rusty spike up her ass.
–*You won’t believe what this beloved TV star from the ’70s looks like today, especially when you realize he died 12 years ago.
–*This AI brings William Holden back to life and he wants absolutely nothing to do with you.
–*Why you’re not thinking through all the things you could be doing with Miracle Whip right now.
–*Your Mom: Have you blamed her enough for your Dad being a piece of shit?
–*Experts say a tall glass of lemonade would sure feel good right now.
–*Jogging in the snow: What are you, stupid?
–*”That guy would have a pissing match with a camel” is one of those insults that just don’t land, Joey.
–*”That guy’s mom is like a camel. Two humps is all you want.” See, that works much better.
–*Bullies: Why haven’t you worked harder to make them like you?
–*This former celebrity now has a regular job like you. And how contemptible is that?
–*Rob Reiner: No, you didn’t deserve him.
