What do our Valentine’s Day cards say?
–*You are my heart.
–*You are my soul.
–*You are my kidneys.
–*You are the person I have grown to love after I settled for you.
–*Love is like two souls joining. Especially in this community property state of Wisconsin.
–*Top ten reasons you are the only one for me, No. 7: I don’t really need another public divorce, Love Ronald Perelman.
–*Like Philadelphia, I love you back, but unlike Philadelphia, I am not the meth capital of the U.S.
–*I’m sorry, I am giving the rose to Courtney.
–*I’m giving this Valentine’s Day card to you because my fifth grade teacher has ordered us to give cards to everybody else in the class, and thus I have fulfilled my legal obligation.
–*Valentine’s Day is not just a fake holiday invented by the greeting card industry. It’s also an extra reason for single people to feel awful.
–*I’m pretty sure that this Valentine’s Day card to you, my love, does not violate the restraining order, but if it does, please disregard.
–*Few people know what love really is. But I do. It’s part of the male posturing process among monkeys to dominate other males in order to propagate their DNA.
–*Monkey see, monkey do, roses are red and I love you.
–*Let’s drop the pretense. Let’s do it!
Beauty is Imperfection 