What’s happening with your connections on LinkedIn?
–*Dave Franklin has now become a corporate yes man at Bank of America after kissing up to people he can’t stand.
–*Marsha Weege has taken over grants and contracts from a woman facing charges for manslaughter.
–*Your ex-girlfriend is now the boss of you.
–*Nancy Montrose is now friends with Morris Shankton. Both of them worked with you in previous positions and they are your arch enemies. Together, they could destroy you. You must destroy them first.
–*Sol Myers is still a no-talent nimrod simp.
–*Joel Hardigan just got his Ph.D., which is all well and good, though that still doesn’t make him a good speller from your cramped perspective as his one-time personal secretary.
–*Marla Jacobs just got a promotion, probably for doing nothing, which is what she’s always been best at.
–*Jenny Fiedler is now a partner at Laslow and Banks. Her looks are no longer a threat to the old men there now that they’ve sucked the last bit of beauty out of her with 80-hour work weeks.
–*Sammy Wilder has carpal-tunnel-syndrome-workers-compensation-lawsuited his way up the corporate ranks at Sherman and Hawthorne.
–*You are now friends with someone named Angelina Jolie, but not the hot one from the movies, just someone you worked with at a shoe store 15 years ago.
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