2 CBS
48 Hours Mystery: Michael Jackson is autopsied for the ninth time and 48 Hours makes a startling discovery: He had a heart attack. Jermaine Jackson sings to Katie Couric.
4 NBC
Dateline: We interrupt the Fourth of July to ask where Debbie Rowe is and why she isn’t demanding custody of her children from Diana Ross. Jermaine Jackson sings to Matt Lauer.
5 ABC
20/20: A time-lapse photograph examination of Michael Jackson’s collapsing nasal septum. Jermaine Jackson sings “Ben” to two of Diane Sawyer’s interns.
10 CNN
Larry King Live: Was Michael Jackson’s death caused by a powerful drug? We ask a waiter at T.G.I. Friday’s.
11 WGN
Jermaine Jackson reads the Michael Jackson inquest at a press conference by singing it in a 2/4 bossa nova number.
13 PBS
The News Hour: As nation mourns Michael Jackson, North Korea annihilates Hawaii
14 History
History is written by the winners, and the biggest winner was the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.
15 ABC Family
How your sexually active pre-teen killed Farrah Fawcett
15 ABC Family
How demons will anally rape you in hell and other Bible stories on “The 700 Club.”
16 Animal Planet
“I Killed Master Jackson For My Freedom”: Bubbles’ shocking confession
16 Animal Planet
The joyless and horrifying act of cat sex
17 Logo
A new show for part-time Lesbians: “Half Saph”
18 BET
“You Ain’t Shit,” Kanye West’s new talent show
19 CNBC
A round-table discussion among today’s business leaders about how, if ever, we can fool people into the shell game of capitalism again.
20 Public Access
An Hour With The Dark Lord Satan (taped in Betamax)
21 MTV
An old interview with Michael Jackson, the one in which he claims repeatedly that sometimes when black people grow older they turn into white people.
22 Vh-1
“Daisy of Love,” brought to you by Trojan condoms and Ocean Spray cranberry juice
23 Fox News
In a special Fourth of July tribute, Fox News says goodbye to America as it slides irretrievably into European socialism.
Beauty is Imperfection 
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