What words of wisdom will longtime Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash likely have as American Idol‘s guest mentor next week for rock ‘n’ roll night?
–*”Adam, sing this last note from the diaphragm like you’re dying from an overdose of China White.”
–*”Danny, make sure during your number to jump down off the stage and tackle a member of the audience who’s taking unauthorized pictures, and then thank the promoters for the suck-ass security.”
–*”Danny, if you throw your mic down the right way, it sounds like a gunshot, spooking the audience into fleeing the gunfire, and causing either a riot or multiple trampling deaths. I don’t know if that’s a warning or not.”
–*”Allison, when you’re singing ‘Crazy On You’ by Heart, make sure to stop the song in the middle and say ‘I’m out of here. Fuck you, St. Louis.'”
–*”Scott, when do ‘Blue Suede Shoes,’ don’t show up at Axl’s house drunk thinking you’re going to settle a royalties lawsuit and then start pissing all over your current band members, thinking Axl won’t tell them all later. He will. In a press release.”
–*”Allison, if you’re going to set up studio time, remember it’s $300 an hour, so try not to nod out on OxyContin.”
–*”Adam, you’ve got to come out and attack all the blacks and gays.”
–*”Scott, if Simon says you’re not singing too well, threaten to take Paula Abdul to the pavement.”
–*”Danny, you’re working that dead wife thing a little too hard, dude. Hasn’t anyone else died?”
–*”What the fuck are you all doing here? Don’t you know there’s a swine flu pandemic? I’m getting the fuck out of here.”
Beauty is Imperfection 
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