(Originally posted Monday, November 17, 2008 )
–*Because he is a voice of change and will keep me from losing my job.
–*Because he is a voice of change and will allow me to marry my same sex partner.
–*Because the HBO spring lineup looks pretty sparse, and Obama’s presidency will likely change that.
–*Because Obama will keep us safe and gender is an illusion that I plan to break down as I live life proudly with both kinds of genitalia.
–*Because some women still won’t put out on the first date, and Obama is a voice of change.
–*Because Obama will do something about this Y2K we’ve heard so much about.
–*Because he’ll do something about those uncomfortable moments you feel with co-workers when you accidentally see them on the morning commute and you were hoping to avoid eye contact because you wanted to do work on the train but then sure as shit that co-worker strikes up a conversation with you.
–*Because there are no available men left. They’re all married or gay.
–*Because he has said he will annex the Sudetenland and promise every German woman a husband.
–*Because he plans to withdraw from Iraq, deal with the alternative minimum tax, and do something about this illegitimate baby I’m having at age 14.
–*Because I’m a racist, but I’m also counterintuitive.
–*Because Patti LuPone is leaving the Broadway revival “Gypsy”
–*Because I can’t find the bathroom in this restaurant
–*Because these bisexual impulses I’m feeling are throwing me for a loop and somebody’s got to do something.
–*Because that’s not a moon. It’s a space station.
–*Because Obama represents the dreams, aspirations, wants, desires, impulses, predilections, drives, demands, hungers, thirsts, velleities, inclines and fussy insistence on immediate gratification of an entire people at once at the time they are least likely to get them.
–*Because he was capable, and the best leaders are the ones who inspire us to do the major work of democracy oursel….
–*Scratch that. Because we wanted a Nintendo Wii. Where they fuck can you get one of those things these days anyway?
Beauty is Imperfection 
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