(Originally posted Wednesday, November 12, 2008 )
Federal bailout + lobbyists + “mad scramble”
Bailout + automakers + SUVs + suck
Automakers + crisis + Obama
“General Motors” + “penny stock” + “65-year low” + “toilet paper”
Bush + gracious + helpful + “smooth transition” + “anything for good press”
“$700 billion bailout” + “already dried up” + lobbyists + “special interests” + plumbers + “house builders”
“special interests” + “Jack Abramoff” + “filthy lucre” + “Paulie Walnuts”
“Joe Scarborough” + “says fuck you on air” + “seven second delay’ + “Where’s the FCC?”
“Jennifer Aniston” + “Angelina Jolie” + catfight
“John Mayer” + “Jennifer Aniston” + “not visibly pregnant”
“Jennifer Aniston” + pregnant + twins + “John Mayer” + bullshit
“John Mayer” + annoying + “too mellow” + douchey
“Brad Pitt” + “Angelina Jolie” + “breed like mayflies” + “DNA frozen and preserved in lead casing”
Obama + “stimulus package” + “food stamps” + “state aid” + “health care” + “auto industry bailout” + “empty Treasury” + “ha ha ha”
How can I get food stamps, state aid and health care from Barack Obama?
How will President Obama find the money for food stamps, state aid, health care?
FDR + “New Deal” + socialism + “tax the rich”
“John Maynard Keynes” + rehabilitated
“Alan Greenspan” + asshole
“Alan Greenspan” + “kept interest rates too low” + “housing bubble” + meltdown
Republicans + “blame Fannie Mae”
Does every American deserve a house?
Does Danny Bonaduce deserve a house?
How can I get a house and meet Jennifer Aniston?
“jennifer Aniston” + “pregnancy rumor” + “Vince Vaughan” + “John Mayer” + “gets around”
“Jennifer Aniston” + “John Mayer” + “multiple breakups” + turbulent + “base infatuation” + ephermal + “even a dog knows it won’t last”
“Sarah Palin” + “rock star among dummies”
“How can I get a house?”
“How can I score some of that federal financial stimulus bailout money?”
“How can I get some of that bailout money in Des Moines, Iowa?”
“Where can I get pregnant in Des Moines, Iowa?”
“Des Moines” + “bus schedule
Beauty is Imperfection 
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