Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Tuesday, November 04, 2008 )

As Americans rush to the polls across the nation to cast their ballots, why have some been turned away from the voting booths?

–*They violated the the 24-hour standing rule.

–*They had improper fish and game registration

–*They violated the 24 Hour Uncategorizable Hispanic Rule

–*They violated state laws against sharing names with famous serial killers

–*They violated the bad handwriting rule.

–*They violated the effete liberal rule.

–*They wore T-shirts that said “I participated in the charade that is our democracy today.”

–*They admitted they didn’t know who the candidates were or what the issues are, but had only submitted to peer pressure and thus slunk away peaceably when shamed away from the polling stations.

–*They had been purged from the rolls for having more than one address or for looking like migrant workers.

–*They demanded the free Starbucks coffee they had been promised.

–*They were told they must be looking for the OTHER election.

–*There were too many of them, and they were told it wouldn’t matter anyway since Obama was probably going to win.

–*They had moved across the street into a new voting district, which means they are likely flaky people anyway and not fit to participate in representative democracy.