(Originally posted Sunday, October 19, 2008 )
–*There’s a new shop called “The Chocolate-Gasm.”
–*You can now find small pieces of pork fat for sale at your grocery store under their French name, “lardons,” but you can’t find any Ding-Dongs.
–*The authors of the “Wine Snob’s Dictionary” have broken into your house just to shame you away from that bottle of Barolo you aren’t smart enough to really enjoy.
–*A cat gynecologist opens up shop and calls herself “Dr. Good Pussy.”
–*Fair trade coffee means you must cultivate it yourself by climbing up your own mountain, harvesting the cherries, skinning them, de-pulping them, hulling them and roasting them with your own army of Latin American campesinos.
–*The “No vomiting” signs are less polite and more assertive
–*A dirty bookstore with pinewood shelves devoted to things like Robert Mapplethorpe’s black-on-white cock pictures has been replaced by a high-end art gallery with Lucite and Plexiglas furnishings devoted to Robert Mapplethorpe’s black-on-white cock pictures.
–*Your favorite local watering hole with no sign on the door, “MacRubers,” has gone private, and now has a sign: “Stay the fuck out.”
–*Google now automatically recognizes the phrase “gentrification in [your neighborhood]”
–*There’s been a conversion of residential units to commercial property.
–*There’s been a decrease in rental units.
–*There are more lawyers.
–*And a lot more whites.
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