–*Katy Perry’s mint green dress reminds viewers that if it was good taste they were worried about, why were they watching the Grammys in the first place?
–*A smile can change your day, but John Mayer can change it back.
–*You just can’t say “Chris Brown’s greatest hits” without smirking anymore, can you?
–*Most of the night’s awards go to some hot new group named “Hashtag.”
–*After finally finding true love and ending a life of romantic drama and turmoil, Taylor Swift releases her new song, “No Fries, I Don’t Need The Carbs.”
–*Let’s see. How the pop. Band fun. Likes it when we. Mess around with punctuation. How do you. Like getting your band name. Totally lost in a sea of. Confusing text. Assholes?
–Grammy producers lamented that it really helps the “wow” factor of the show if Whitney Houston dies hours before the ceremonies start.
–*Prince announces that the song “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Belgian-Australian artist Gotye has won the Grammy for best pop song of 1983.
–*After being snubbed for a Grammy in the category of best recitative for his album of spoken-word encyclicals, Pope Benedict resigns the papacy in protest the next day.
Beauty is Imperfection 
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