(Originally posted Saturday, April 26, 2008 )
2 CBS
“Cold Case”: The detectives tonight open up the case of Karla Faye Tucker and discover that a young man named George W. Bush let her fry on the electric chair in Texas so that he could rise to national prominence. Lilly whines about her drunk mother.
3 ABC
Movie: “Harry Potter and the Iranian Fatwa”
4 NBC
“Medium”: Allison knows how tonight’s episode is going to end, just like everybody else who’s ever watched television before.
5 Fox
“America’s Most Wanted”: Catching sexual predators is that much sexier when we have Miss America there to slap the cuffs on.
5 Fox
“America’s Most Wanted”: No really. They did that. Miss America.
7 Animal Planet
“It’s Me Or The Dog”: A Kansas wife refuses to watch “Melrose Place” with her husband’s homosexual Jack Russell terrier any longer.
8 CW
We don’t have Saturday night programming, so enjoy your local Indian bingo show. We’ll start you off … 16, 84, 92, 27…
9 Telemundo
“Shallow Hal”: Jack Black es un hombre superficial. Gwyneth Paltrow es muy gorda.
10 CNN
Jenny McCarthy’s on Larry King again, and by that I mean all over him like a redoubtable strain of mange
11 History Channel
Less history on the History Channel than ever
12 Hallmark
The last installments of the “Love Comes Softly” series: “Love’s Unending Legacy,” “Love’s Unfolding Dream,” and “Love’s Antibiotic-Resistant Syph”
13 Discovery
Mythbusters see if Henry VIII and Katherine of Aragon could have had a son if they had just eaten more vitamin-fortified Wheaties. (TM)
14 DIY
Host Patrick Wayne teaches you how to make home-made pipe bombs from your kitchen sink and other household items to foment violent revolutionary overthrow in America.
20 E! Entertainment Television
The guy who played Screech deconstructs the Dana Plato death video … and other famous Celebrity “Oops!”
21 Disney
Movie: “Beethoven’s 4th.” Judge Reinhold is working?
22 A&E
You Got Non-Consensually Rubbed! (reality)
23 CNBC
Suze Orman: “What To Do With A Depressed U.S. Dollar? Wear It!” How to turn that old cash into a nice suit.
25 Cartoon Network
Those Amazing Labia Heads
28 Showtime
How Much Bodily Fluid Do We Have To Show You To Convince You That This Show Is Edgy?
29 CMT
“Bitch Took My Gun” (Reality)
30 Bravo
“Millionaire Matchmaker”
30 Bravo
“Adult Pathogen Finder”
40 HBO
Failure To Launch
41 Crosswalk
“Democracy Now: An Hour of Thumbsucking Activists”
42 Sundance
How sustainable could the audience for these ceaseless sustainable energy documentaries possibly be?
43 Cinemax
Mr. Oral Retentive Meets Busty McCo-ed
44 QVC
Luggage
45 Food Network
Rice
Beauty is Imperfection 
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